Under the White Sky
by MoonlightSonata87
Summary: In a post-apocalyptic world society has devolved into mayhem. Men dominate in a world of violence and suffering. This is the world Serena was born into, this is the world she lives in. This is the world she is terrified of. Now on her own, she must fend for herself and hope she survives. D/S
1. Prologue

In a post-apocalyptic world society has devolved into mayhem. Men dominate in a world of violence and suffering. This is the world Serena was born into, this is the world she lives in. This is the world she is terrified of. Now on her own, she must fend for herself and hope she survives.

I want to apologize to all of my fans. I have not been very good to you lately. I've been absent from writing on here for about a year. I don't have any excuses, really I don't. I only hope you enjoy this story. I in turn hope to update this story often. I have a few other stories in the works but wanted to try this one out. Check out my profile. I started a Facebook (Unfortunately but I did it for YOU!) and a blog. Check them out! Anywho, REVIEW! I will respond!

Prologue

Dear Diary,

I figured I had better start writing the accounts of my life before it's too late. I will start at the beginning and hope, that if this diary is ever found by some future race, they will understand what happened here.

Love,

Serena


	2. Entry 1 August 10, 2111

Entry 1- August 10, 2111

I have heard tales of what it used to be like. The land was green and lush, the skies a beautiful blue color, there was water all around. What I wouldn't give to live in such a world. What I wouldn't do to be free, truly free from my hell. No price would be too high. Unfortunately, a price will never be named. I know this because humans as a whole are beyond retribution. It was humans who fought bloody wars, humans who raped the earth of its resources, and humans who finally destroyed the skies.

Forty years have passed since it happened. We don't know who it was who launched the first nuclear weapon but that doesn't really matter. It was the experimental weapons that ruined the skies. The warheads ruined the land, still, that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is survival. What matters is the prospect of living to see another day.

Every moment my chances of survival dwindle. I know this as clearly as I know my heart is beating and the sun shines. Every day that I come out into the world I face death. It doesn't matter what form death takes, it's all the same to me. I try to stay in my shelter mostly but sometimes, I have to make supply runs. I cannot survive on water and air alone unfortunately.

The hardened dirt crunched under my body as I climbed the hill to scout out a safe way away from home. A flash of ebony flew past me and down the hill towards the wreckage of days past. A few moments later and I saw the black fuzzball I knew to be my devoted cat Luna sit on the remains of a vehicle. The coast was clear.

Taking another look around I made sure everything was safe, and rushed down the hill to the vehicle and slammed my back against it. Looking in the mirror on the side of the car I checked to be sure I wouldn't be given away by looks alone. I wore a hat that covered my long blonde hair, and shaded my face I wore sunglasses due to the bright sunlight which hid my cerulean eyes. I had taped down my breasts so they were as flat as possible, and padded my shoulders to look like a man. Finally, I wore baggy pants to hide the curve of my hips. The disguise rarely failed me when others were simply looking at me but try as I may I could never disguise my scent. I kept Luna with me to detect others, but more importantly, to find dogs. Dogs were well trained to sniff a woman out and I had trained Luna to find them before they found me. Cats are far more agile and quick than dogs, as well as being more intuitive.

With her by my side I feel confident enough to venture out. If I ever lose her it will be the end of me I'm sure. As such, I have to protect her as she protects me. My kitty girl. I found her one day, outside my shelter yowling loudly as if in pain. She was young and had been half starved to death but after a little bit of care and love I nursed her to health and we began our friendship.

Two years have passed now, I think that she is three maybe. I am now twenty and all things willing she will live to be twenty or so and that'll put my expiration date to about forty years of age. I can handle that. Maybe by then things will improve. Maybe our society will regain its humanity and people will stop killing one another for cans of food. Stop raping women and sometimes killing them.

That's how it is. This is a violent world where men reign supreme and women are hunted like animals. The lucky ones are the women who cannot have children. They get to live together in brothels keeping men happy. They demand a high price for their company, but, men are usually willing to pay when the women have guns to protect them. Of course, the rest of us are the unlucky ones. We have to fend for our lives, try and blend in, try to avoid discovery. I have run across a few women on my outings, all fearing I was a man until I revealed the truth.

One woman had told me a horrific tale, she had lived with her parents happily until her mother became ill and died. With her mother gone she was left with her father. He was a nice man, a caring father that left her at home when he went out to get supplies. He believed she would be safe. He was convinced that as long as she stayed hidden he could protect her. He was wrong.

The dogs caught her scent on him and followed it back to their home. The three men that invaded the place and attacked her. She was only thirteen but men don't care how old a woman is. She said that she fought as best she could then her father returned. He shot two of the men before the third managed to stab him in the stomach and flea. Her father died in her arms, a casualty of his own stupidity and arrogance.

My father had never taken such risks. When he would go out he would soak his clothes with rubbing alcohol and wash himself with soap. He would then rub dirt on his body and clothes and leave. There was no smell on him to indicate that he was hiding myself and my mother. It was common sense to try and hide any unwanted scents.

I did not have the luxury my father had. I cannot simply soak my clothes, wash myself, and cover everything up with dirt. It's impossible to do because I am a woman and my scent will be discovered. I can try and prolong my discovery which I do. One hour, that's all my father's washing ritual will afford me.

I'm out for candles and fuel for my generators. If I come across some meat I may try and bargain for it. I have vegetables which I grow myself. My grandparents were smart when they built our underground shelter. It's technically a bomb shelter but it's huge. There are two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen, dining area, a bathroom, laundry room, and storage. In the storage area there were stocks of seeds, grow lights, and soil for growing our own vegetables. As such, I can trade these for supplies because no one has fresh vegetables anymore if I don't want to use my paper money.

My family was once very rich and I have more than enough paper money. Paper money is very valuable and can buy me all the supplies I can carry. I only took one paper dollar on this trip. If I am attacked or robbed I would rather look very poor than valuable. The dollar is enough to get me enough fuel for my generators for two weeks. Not bad really.

It's a long trek from here to the nearest fuel supplier and so I have to move fast. A brisk walk will get me there in a half hour which gives me very little time to haggle, procure supplies, and get a safe enough distance from the supplier to avoid the dogs.

I managed to make it to the supplier who smiled at me and readied the containers. "What do you have to trade today Sean (my cover name)? Vegetables or dollars?" The man asked me and glanced at Luna who sat on my shoulder. She gazed around with an aloof expression.

"I have a dollar and some vegetables if you have something that may pique my interest." I said through my voice modifier which made me sound like a man. He nodded and dug around in a cupboard behind him then produced a bowstring. That sly dog, he sold me a bow and some arrows on my last run but the string had been magically missing. "Ah, I should have known Andrew." I shook my head.

I traded my vegetables and dollar for the string, candles, and containers of fuel and turned to leave. I had made great time. I was there and out in thirty five minutes. A new record. As I walked back towards home I examined the bowstring. It was fairly new which meant that someone had made it recently. Most likely the person who traded the bow in the first place. I wasn't complaining though. I finally had a weapon, a weapon that could be disguised as a walking stick until needed.

Luna suddenly became alert, her tail curling around my neck in clear warning that we were not alone. Turning I saw a white cat sitting on a hill nearby. I hadn't seen another cat in a long time. It looked healthy. As I stared at it, the feline seemed to be analyzing us, studying us. This was bad. That cat wasn't a stray, and I could only assume its owner agreed with my own reasoning. Cats are more agile, their stealthier than dogs, and far more dangerous really. I kept walking, regardless of the cat I had to make it back home. I noticed a figure appear on the hill, a feminine figure. I stopped as pure horror overtook me. What was that woman thinking? Coming outside like that, in the open! As I turned towards her another figure appeared on the hill next to her. A large brute looking silhouette of a man paused beside her and watched me go. I couldn't help but feel that maybe they knew I was a woman. They were most likely thieves who preyed on unsuspecting people. Nonetheless, it would take me longer to get home now. I had to go a little out of my way to lead them astray. If they were going to follow me that is.

Just as I thought that, the woman picked up the cat, turned, and walked away with the man close behind. It was strange but then again, what wasn't strange nowadays?

Walking the rest of the distance home, I quickly located the secret entrance to my home and opened the door. It was cleverly disguised as a dumpster. The bottom of the dumpster was truly a door into my home. I sent Luna in first to check to see if we had visitors. She returned with the go ahead to enter.

Once inside I set the fuel jugs down and turned to lock the door. Being sure it was secure I walked towards the small table I knew was just on the other side of the room and lit a candle. I preferred to use candles for my own lights so I didn't waste power on such things. My vegetables needed power more than I did. I only used it for hot water showers. Brief ones of course.

Even though the scenery wasn't much to look at, this was home. The metal walls were dry walled so it looked like a real house. My grandfather had even hung framed glass pictures of parks on the wall to act as windows. It was nice really. It stayed an even 72 degrees Fahrenheit year round which was a nice temperature.

I thought back to the cat and the strange woman. Maybe she was a brothel woman going outside for a walk with her cat and John. It was possible. I hoped it was true. I didn't need anyone following me here. There had been some close calls over the years but still. At least now I had a bow and arrows.

Remembering that small detail I rushed to my bow and strung it quickly. Tugging on the string I pulled it back to my cheekbone and felt the tension. It was perfect for me. Slowly bring my hand back towards the bow I allowed it to return to normal and quickly unstrung it. It would be a great weapon.

I felt tired and walked to the bathroom. I needed some quality sleep. Removing my clothes I washed and dressed for bed. Luna followed me to my room and we curled down and went to sleep together.

A few hours later I awoke to a loud bang and jumped awake. Listening intensely I could hear banging on the door of my shelter and walked to it to listen. The noises were not ones of someone trying to get in, but someone perhaps hiding from someone else or even hiding something. A dumpster was a good place to hide really. I listened closely and heard a woman speaking. Well, not speaking so much as shouting loudly. She was begging for mercy.

"Please, all I have are those cans of food! Just take them!" She pleaded. "Noooo! Don't hurt him! He's my only friend! Please!" I heard her cry then the sound of an irate cat hit my ears followed by a ferocious battle cry from the woman.

I could tell she was struggling with someone and when I heard a loud thud on my door I listened carefully for the voice of the victor. "That'll teach him not to mess with us, won't it?" She laughed. "Let's see what he's got…" I heard some rustling and heard her huff. "Not much really. It's okay though."

"Mina!" A loud masculine voice boomed into the dumpster that disguised my shelter. "For the last time, don't wander away from me! You could have been attacked." There was a long pause before I heard him speak again. "At least he was alone. You have to be more careful."

"Can it Mal. I'm fine. Now let's get busy burying this guy before anyone knows what I've done. Last thing I need is a group of smart asses trying to attack me for killing him." Her voice sounded deceivingly sweet and I wondered if the man named Mal knew anything about this Mina woman. She sounded tough all things considered. Then I remembered the sound of the cat. It was the same girl from earlier today! She had followed me!

I felt myself panic a little. She followed me, but why? Shelter maybe? Did she want to live with me or steal my living space? She seemed to have Mal's protection and yet she came looking for shelter? Something seemed wrong. Very wrong with this situation. I wanted to open the door and shoot the both of them with my new bow but knew that would be stupid. One of them would get me for sure and it would most likely be him. I did not want to fall victim to a man. I had avoided it so far and would continue to do so. Men, filthy disgusting creatures really.

Every man I had ever seen, save for my father, had been dirty and disgusting pigs. It was hard to walk away from a group of men attacking a woman but I had to. Those men had been filthy and disgusting. Most likely disease ridden and just… ugly in every way possible. They thrived on destruction and carnage, loved violence, and only wanted one thing from women. After they had their fun they would often leave her in the hot sun to die of exhaustion and thirst. No human could be so cold could they?

No, men are monsters. Inhumane monsters and any one that acts as a savior is simply trying to catch their unsuspecting victim somehow. Pathetic, really. Mal was mostly likely one of those men, trading protection for what he truly wanted. Animals.

It was possible that Mina and Mal were even more dangerous than what I had though. It was possible that they were part of a hijack group. A group that uses a woman as bait for rowdy men then ambushes him, beats him to death, then takes everything he had on him. They would do it to women too though it was pointless for them to do that. They usually captured the women and took them to the nearest populated area and sold her to the highest bidder. If that's what Mina and Mal were I would need to stay far, far away from them.

More rustling outside revealed that Mal and Mina were hard at work disposing of the body of the attacker. I listened carefully then noticed Luna sniffing at the edges of the door. She pawed it lightly then looked at me as if to tell me to open it. I simply shook my head and picked her up into a hug. Mina had said her cat was a male. Clearly he had sniffed Luna out just as she had done him.

Damn. That's all I need, my Luna getting nailed by a male cat. Why couldn't this Mina have a female cat?

"I know she came this way." Mina suddenly spoke making my ears perk. "Too fast I guess." She seemed almost aloof about it. "Andrew said she shows up at about the same time every week. Always with her cat."

"Andrew knows then?" Mal asked with a surprised tone. "Surprising that he's detected her. When you told me she was a woman I didn't believe you. She's very convincing."

"Not as much as you think. For one, she's too petite. Two, her hands are slender. Finally, she walks heavily on the outsides of her feet, you know what Darien says about that." Mina seemed happy in her analysis. "She takes great pains to hide her gender but she's not going to last much longer on her own. If Andrew has noticed, someone else will too. I noticed, we would all notice. I have this feeling that one day she'll make it to market and be ambushed." Mina sounded sad at that comment.

I marveled at what she was saying. Was I really that obvious to the trained observer? Who was this Darien character she mentioned? Who were the others? Who was she? So many questions filled my head.

"Well, what should we do now? Wait for her?" Mal spoke easily as if he didn't care what they did. I dreaded Mina's answer.

"No, we'll head back. Keep an eye on the market. Andrew will shut his mouth, he's taken a liking to this girl and will try and defend her.


	3. Entry 2 August 17, 2111

Heya, there has been a little traffic on this story but I would like to see more. I am fairly confident I responded to all the reviews, if not I'm sorry. I'll try and keep better track. Anywho, enjoy and REVIEW!

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Entry 2- August 17, 2111

I don't want to go out today but my fuel is running low. Mina's words ring in my head as I scrub at myself. Luna is also getting restless. It's ten and we haven't left yet. I know I need to hurry, the hotter it is out the faster my scent envelopes me. Today I'll have to wear gloves to hide my hands or something. Mina's information had told me much about hiding myself.

I had analyzed my steps and found that I do walk heavily on the outsides of my feet. My medical book says it's a common characteristic of women with wide hips, caused by a rotation of the legs that results in tighter calf muscles. I've been working on walking more evenly and have even been stretching more. Seems to be working but I'll never know for sure.

Sighing I put on my clothes and walk to the door. I crack it open and let Luna out. I leave it a hair cracked, my new weapon drawn and ready to strike any who may enter. A few moments go by and I am getting nervous. Luna has not returned, a bad sign.

Panic begins to envelope me as a few more moments go by. I had promised myself long ago that I wouldn't go after her. If she didn't come back it was a sign that someone was out there waiting for me. I should slam the door now and not come out but if someone was there now it wouldn't matter. They would wait me out.

Damn. With a steady foot I opened the door a bit and stepped into the turned over dumpster. Taking another step I glanced out at the expanse of land and saw the white cat looking at me. He sat staring, his eyes fixed. Mina.

I quickly moved out and saw her standing a ways away with Luna in her arms. She smiled at me, A smile I didn't like. She sets Luna down who barrels towards me with a relieved hop to her stride. While I'd like to pick her up I currently have my bow aimed at the blonde woman staring at me.

"What do you want?" I asked firmly. "I will not give up my shelter. Nor will I allow you to live in it with me. I do not have the space."

Mina laughed then snapped her fingers, her cat walked to her lazily and was promptly picked up. "I am not here to take your shelter. I am here to ask a few questions. You see, my cat here is a male and there are very few female cats out there. I was wondering if you would be willing to breed your kitty." She cooed and rubbed her cat's ear. "I also come to offer you better shelter. You're hiding place is nicely disguised but it is not safe to live out here on your own. I can offer you safety."

"I am not interested in either of your proposals." I state blankly and glance up at the sun. It's too late to head into market now. Damn this woman!

"You are skeptical, rightfully so! I understand your hesitance. I assure you though, I can offer you better lodgings and more protection. There is a settlement of us, living in a large complex. I cannot tell you where as of now but I would be willing to show you if you blindfold yourself. You have nothing to lose really." She shrugged her indifference and set her cat down.

There was no way I was going to do this. None. She could sense it in me I am sure.

"Very well then, if you come with us I will send Malachite to market for your items. We will return you safely to your shelter and that will be it. We are not in the business of forcing our will on others. I simply thought you may find such an arrangement satisfactory. We can use your skills. You have your wits to you, you can garden, you are a valuable person. You also have a female cat. Another asset." She winked then sighed and looked above my head. That is when I noticed the large shadow I was standing in. Glancing to the side I saw that Malachite was standing on top of the dumpster with a gun in his hand aimed at me.

"You're not are you?" I sneered and glared at Mina.

"For my protection of course. If you were to shoot me with your bow Malachite would retaliate, that is all." I had to laugh at that. Her protection, as if. "Simply come with us Sean… what is your real name?"

"If I tell you, and accompany under the terms you specified… will you leave me be?" I asked frankly. I have never been one to beat around the bush.

"You have my word." She nodded. I glanced at Malachite and nodded. Returning to the doorway I shut and locked it in the secret way I had, and turned around. Malachite had come down and was staring at me with skepticism.

"Come now, your name?" Mina pushed and hurriedly grabbed my arm. I panicked and pulled away from her. "Sorry." She laughed.

"Serena. My name is Serena." I relented and watched her as she squealed with joy. How nice for her to be able to be so free. I could never be that free. To walk around undisguised, to sing and laugh. Oh how wonderful.

She was so happy, and Malachite seemed to take everything in stride. He walked behind us, his taller frame dwarfing our petite ones. "How long did you plan to hide like that Serena?" He asked suddenly. "You were easily discovered, thank the stars we happened upon you first."

"I will continue to hide for many more years." I snorted in anger. How can these people stand there and ask this? This was my life, my decision.

Malachite snorted in response. "You will not last long if you do. You have fooled everyone so far because they thought you to be young. Now that you have been around for a time the men know there is something off with you. Andrew knows your secret and is trying to hide you but others have been asking around. That is how we came to know of you. Mina volunteered to approach you and I am her companion." He offered the information so freely it was a surprise.

"What does that mean? Companion?" I asked with doubt. I had heard that word before always relating to a situation where a woman is being prostituted out.

"It means that I am her protector, as well as her lover. We chose one another you see, I am not taking advantage of her." He assured me and she giggled. I doubted the words though. How any woman could endure the company of a filthy, dirty man I'll never know.

Evil, that's what men are, mark my words! The only man I have ever known not to be evil was my own father. All others only take what they want will no regard for anything but their whims. In addition, they were dirty creatures, always smelling of dirt and months of sweat. They are unkempt and simply disgusting. Malachite looked clean enough and smelled okay but I couldn't trust that. I couldn't trust them.

Couldn't trust them, of course not. So why the hell had I let them finagle me into following them across this barren land? I cannot fathom a true answer.

Luna pawed my leg and suddenly, I felt guilty about this situation. I had no idea what I got us into. I had forgotten my kitty, that sickened me a bit. Pausing for a moment I scooped her up and placed her on my shoulder. We walked a few more steps before Malachite suddenly grabbed hold of my free shoulder as well as Mina's. I froze in fear. What did this behemoth of a man want from me?

I quickly scanned my surroundings and saw two men walking over a hill to our left. I held my arrow a little tighter as I saw them turn their attention onto us. Malachite positioned himself in front of us and squared his shoulders. He looked powerful, and I knew all too well that power was deadly.

"Hello gentlemen! Can I help you?" He asked blandly.

"Yes, yes you can." One of the men responded and glanced at me. "We're passing through and looking for supplies. Know where we can get some?" He shrugged casually.

"South, nestled between some hills, a half mile." Malachite answered coldly.

The man chucked and stepped up to me. He looked at me carefully and placed a hand on my head. "This your kid?" I felt the color leave my face as I dreaded Malachite's answer. "Got a nice bow. Been looking for one of those."

"Hands off." Malachite snapped dangerously and forced the man to back away. "My wife and I were going for a nice walk with our son before you happened along. He's ambitious, hoped to get a bird. That a crime?"

"Not anymore man. Look, we don't want trouble. We're just looking for supplies." With their attention off of me they turned their eyes on Mina. "You have a beautiful wife."

"Thank you. Mina, go ahead with Sean, not too far though." Malachite demanded. Mina smiled coolly and placed a hand on my shoulder. She gave me a look that said everything would be fine and stepped ahead.

I followed her and watched the men stare at us. "Stop looking at them." Mina demanded. "They'll know something's up if you keep gawking. That ass, there's no way I'm your mother."

"I don't mean to stare, I just want to be ready. Those men are looking for confrontation." I sighed and readied my bow.

"I know. Poor guys, they have no idea what's about to happen to them." Mina shrugged and smiled at me. "Anybody even looks at me, Malachite takes care of it. That wolf was raping me with his eyes." She shuddered a bit. "Animal."

I nodded. I noticed the way they had looked at Mina. I turned one last time to see Malachite holding a gun to the men. They looked terrified and though I couldn't hear it, I knew Mal was yelling at them. They cowered in front of him.

Rightfully so really. Though it's rare to find a gun with ammunition in it you can never be sure the gun is not armed. In addition, if the gun is armed people are reluctant to shoot it. It's even more difficult to find bullets. Some idiots (and I suspected these men are idiots) disregard the possibility of a gun being armed at all simply for this reason.

Sure enough one of the men lunged at Malachite, a deafening shot rang out as the attacker dropped to the ground. I was shocked. Just who were these two? Malachite had a loaded gun, Mina was somewhat fearless, what the hell? This isn't how people are! People are scavengers, they scrounge for supplies and conserve them as much as possible. Malachite had no problem shooting that man, wasting a bullet. Mina didn't seem shocked either.

"What the hell?" I gasp out loud as Malachite began to walk towards us. The other man had begun running away the second his friend had fallen down. "You have a loaded gun?" I turned to Mina who stood unfazed by what had just happened.

"Well, yeah, it's dangerous out here in case you haven't noticed." She shrugged then smiled as Malachite approached us. "You showed them." She laughed and pulled his lips to hers. I blushed and looked to the side. "My big strong man, defending us. I love you." She added then looked at me inquisitively. "Embarrassed?"

"Can we just go?" I asked with annoyance. They nodded and we continued on. We began to walk into what I considered a valley, or canyon was more like it. I began to worry once again. Why were they bringing me here? In a canyon like this no one would hear me scream. No one would help me anyway but sometime the prospect of others hearing screams gives me hope.

On this note, I don't go into canyons, ever. They are dangerous. If there aren't gangs waiting to kill you, there is the possibility of an animal jumping you. Luna was on edge as well. We walked further into the canyon, the light straining to reach the ground.

That's when I saw it. There was a large metal door with two men flanking it. They each held large automatic guns that I assume would do serious damage. As we approached the two men smiled happily.

"Hey! Mina, Mal! Brought a friend huh?" The blonde man on the left chuckled. "Damn her. I hate it when Raye is right. Makes me look bad."

"Get used to it Jed. Women are always right." The blonde man on the right chuckled. I studied him carefully. There was something off about him. He was tall, his blonde hair short, his eyes were a deep green but it was his voice ad shoulders that made me question him. He had smaller shoulders and a voice that didn't sound male. Could this person be a woman? If so she was very good at looking the part of a man.

"Jadeite, Amara, this is Serena. We're trying to convince her to join us." Mina smiled and put her arm around my shoulder. "She's pretty good at pretending to be a guy huh Amara?"

"She doesn't have the build." Amara responded.

"Yeah, lacks your man-hands." Jadeite joked with the woman at the door. He laughed heartily as she shot him an angry glare.

"Watch it boy. I'm not afraid to remove your parts. Then you can be a woman too." Amara sneered then turned back to Mina. "Well, I suppose you ought to get her in. Sun is going to set soon enough." Amara stepped back and opened a metal panel to the right of the door. She then placed her hand on the black plate underneath and I heard a beeping sound. A moment later the door slid open automatically.

I had to marvel at this. For one, these people had guns, then technology, and power! This was amazing! I then quelled my excitement and grew immediately suspicious. If these people had so much, what did they want with me? There was something strange about this situation.

"Come on my new sister!" Mina pulled me towards the dark opening in the side of the canyon. Once I went through the doors I was doomed. I could just feel it in me. Then again, with all of their guns it didn't matter what I did right now.

So, with a heavy heart, I walked into the darkness. As I did I noticed illuminated strips on the ground that seemed to outline a corridor. I followed the strips, Mina and Mal close behind me, until I came to another door. Mina giggled then stepped by me and taped a code into a key panel I had failed to notice.

When the door slid open I was unprepared for what greeted me. I was ushered into a large, round room with a dome ceiling. The walls were made of concrete, the floors were too for that matter. There were numerous tables and chairs to my right and couches to my left. Bookshelves held books and board games. There was a staircase in the middle of the room leading up to a walkway that went around the whole perimeter. Numerous doors lined the walls both upstairs and down. I was simply in awe over the site.

Mina laughed lightly and walked passed me to one of the large couches where there were other people sitting and staring at me. A mixture of men and women. I blushed and followed Mina hoping she would introduce me.

"Hey all! Look what I found!" She sang and motioned to me. "Her name is Serena, that is her kitty Luna. She's smart and has been living alone for some time in the outlands. Been watching her for a while, she can read and is good at horticulture." She reported easily. I was a little weary. I had no idea she had been watching me for some time. "Serena, come, sit down. Relax a bit." She sat on one of the couches and patted the cushion next to her. I sat and glanced around the room. There were six women and five men present. Each one rather attractive and clean looking.

"I'll do intros." Mina announced and began to point to the other people in the room. "That's Raye, Lita, Amy, Michelle, Trista, and Hotaru. These guys here are Zoicite, Nephrite, Seiya, Yaten, and Taiki. You met Amara, Jed, myself, Artemis and Mal. Now there's only Darien. He's always roaming around here. You'll meet him eventually." She shrugged. "We're a happy community of civilized people with skillsets." Mina smiled at me.

"Well, most of us have skillsets; you're only here to keep Mal happy." Raye retorted playfully then laughed.

"I'm the emotional support around here. That and I am a good scout. I followed Serena didn't I?" Mina huffed indignantly.

"Yes, good girl." Raye cooed then turned her lavender eyes on me. She was beautiful, her long raven hair framed her face wonderfully. She had an out of this world quality to her, as if she could see into you. "Welcome Serena. I hope that you choose to stay with us. We have been purchasing your vegetables in the market for some time. You have a gift. You see, we do not allow anyone to just come here. you have been chosen. You're intelligent, a quality that is hard to come by now days. You also have skills, something else that benefits our group." Raye outlined.

"In exchange for your skills and company, we offer much. Comfortable shelter, your own room, power, warm cooked meals, most of all, we offer protection. No one will harm you as long as you are a part of our group. We take care of one another." Lita chimed in her green eyes studying me carefully.

"Of course, a large part of what we offer is human companionship. You are very social so I imagine you had someone at one time." Amy added onto Lita's speech. I felt sadness grip me as I recalled my father. I loved him dearly and he was gone now. "I'm sorry, I've upset you?" Amy frowned, her blue eyes reflecting my sadness.

I regained myself as promptly as possible and sighed. This was a dream, this had to be a dream. "Look, I thank you all for allowing me to come here but I am happy where I am. It is my home, my family's home." I added.

"It may be that, but you have been discovered. You may not know this Serena but we have been watching you for some time. People know about you and it was time to make a decision, offer you a place amongst us, or, allow you to suffer a cruel fate. You cannot go back to that place alone." Nephrite declared powerfully. "There have been numerous killings to protect you Serena. You are valuable. Do not be so foolish to allow sentiments to be your downfall." He knit his brow with concern.

"Everything I have is there." I protested.

"We can move everything here. Anything you want." Zoicite assured me calmly. "Whatever you desire, we will retrieve. We will take you at first light to gather your belongings." He added.

"I do not have a choice in this matter do I?" I asked solemnly.

"Not if you want to live." Hotaru frowned. "I was like you too, had my shelter, I barely made it out. I lost all of my belongings because I didn't take the offer they gave me. I only thank heavens I was allowed in." She spoke with gratitude. Could I live here? Be like these people? "You do have a choice though."

"You should sleep on it." Raye offered and stood. "I will show you to your room for the night." She began to walk towards one of the doors. "I think you will be pleasantly surprised by our accommodations. This bunker was built by my family before the war. It was meant to be a sort of safe house hotel. My parents handpicked the original occupants each one with a different skillset. We are still doing that now." She opened a door and stepped inside. "Each room has its own temperature control and restroom. There are down blankets on the bed and clean linens in the closet. If you need anything someone is always in the common room. I will get a cat box made up for your friend." She smiled and looked around the room. "Well, I'll leave you alone then."

"Wait, Raye." I stopped her. "Are there extra clothes?" I asked shyly. She nodded and opened the closet doors to reveal a full wardrobe. I was again amazed.

"We have communal laundry." She spoke softly. "Anything else?"

"Yes, how do you power everything?" I know I sounded dumb but I didn't care.

"Solar energy. My family owned a plant that made solar panels. Everything we have is powered that way. Our electricity, water purification system, everything." She answered easily. "My brother is a bit of a jack of all trades and maintains most of our systems, well, he and Zoi."

"Sounds nice." I nodded and looked at the large bed. It looked comfortable and I was very tired.

"Yes, well, good night. Again, if you need anything, we're here." With those words Raye stepped out of the room and closed the door.

Luna took action and jumped down to the bed and began to give herself a bath. The thought sounded good so I made my way to the restroom. I stepped in and locked the door. Turning around I found clean towels. Actual towels! I ran my hand over them and felt giddy. Turning on the water for the shower I sighed as I felt the warm water. This truly was luxury!

I stripped down and stepped in. Taking my time I washed with actual soap and shampoo! I only had a small bottle at home. I would only ever open it to smell its fragrance but never dreamed of using it. It was the only bit I had and needed to be reserved for a special occasion. I had coveted that bottle, reading the instructions over and over again. Oh how I had longed to place some in my hand, apply it to my hair, lather, then rinse. It all sounded so surreal.

There was a lot of shampoo here. Truly what a wonderful thing. I finished washing and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around myself I stepped back into the room and jumped when I saw Mina.

"Sorry! Just dropping of a cat box for Luna here." She cried and stated at me with wide eyes. "Oh, Serena, you're really beautiful! Wow!" She gawked at me a little more, her eyes wandering my body making me self-conscious. "It's a wonder you hid all that as well as you did. I am truly shocked." She blinked then stepped towards the door. "Don't let Seiya see you like that, he's a bit primal yet. Hasn't been here too terribly long." It was a warning. I knew it when she said it.

She moved to the door, opened it, flipped the lock, then stepped out. I simply stood there with unease filling me. If Seiya had the potential to hurt me then what of the other men? Would they be interested in me as well? I felt a panic rise within me. No! That couldn't happen, not to me, not here. There were too many people here… and… door locks. I suspected that every door in the place locked, meant for privacy. Well, privacy could be a bitch when you needed help.

It was something to think about. Feeling brave I dropped the towel and crawled into the bed nude. The feel of the soft sheets against my skin soothed me and allowed me to drift into sleep quickly.


	4. Entry 3 August 18, 2111

Hey all, so, the whole replying to Reviews has me befuddled. I can't tell who I have responded to and who I haven't. Sorry If you didn't get a reply this time around. I'll try to be better about it this next go around.

We're slightly thickening the plot with this one. I hope you all like it. REVIEW to let me know!

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Entry 3- August 18, 2111

I woke this morning with an odd sense of dread within me. Mina's comment last night had stuck to me like Velcro. Seiya was a potential threat; that was a danger. Then, there was this mysterious Darien character. Mina had referenced him a few times and Raye had done so once. From the sounds of it, he was the leader of the group. I wondered what he was like. Would he be potentially dangerous? If he was the leader of the group what was his motivation with all of these people?

I smiled as if felt Luna stretch out at the foot of the bed. Throwing the blankets off of me I shivered as I remembered I had slept in the bed nude. Rising up I dug into the closet and found some pants and a shirt. No dresses. Dresses not only screamed that you are a woman but is also far too easy to get off.

I stared at myself in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the closet and sighed. This would be the first day I stepped out into a space where there were men without a disguise on. I only hoped I would not be harmed.

With caution I unlocked and opened the door to my little room and peaked out into the great room. I was immediately greeted by the smell of cooked food. My mouth watered and Luna must have had the same reaction because she ran out of the room towards the dining area. In the dining area there was a long table with a variety of different foods on it. I simply stared at the spread and wondered if I was welcome to eat it. There were foods I had only seen pictures of in books. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles with butter and syrup, juices, muffins. I mean, the whole breakfast deal. I was most drawn to the bacon.

"Eat your heart out." A masculine voice washed over me. The voice was sultry and caused a shiver to travel down my spine. I felt my heartbeat quicken as if I was preparing to flee or fight. "Lita knows her way around a kitchen. She's our chef." The voice continued. As if my reaction was normal, the man reached past me and grabbed a plate then held it to me.

Bringing my hands up I took the plate and nodded. Why I couldn't speak, I'll never know. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure I was physically all right. He chuckled, another shiver, then he picked up another plate and stepped in front of me. Even from the back, I knew he was a powerful man. Malachite was a massive man, Nephrite too, but neither exuded the amount of power this man did.

He was tall, six three maybe, his shoulders were broad, waist small. In fact, his body formed a perfect "V." He had thick arms, and shining black hair. Was this the Darien I had heard of? It would make sense, he was a leader, and his black hair was very similar to Raye's. His skin was tanned slightly, a testament to the fact that he spent time outside in the harsh sun.

"Serena? You should dish up your plate before the guys get out here. They devour everything around here." He spoke as he piled food onto his plate.

Realization of what he said dawned on me and I jumped forward. Grabbing for the tongs in the bacon dish I put a large helping on my plate and moved to the next item. When I was done my plate was piled high with food. I didn't care though. It was my first real breakfast of my life and I was going to enjoy it.

With my plate of food in my hands I looked up and saw Darien staring at me. His deep ocean eyes fixed on my cerulean ones. I froze. He was by far the most… handsome man I had ever encountered. He had defined jawline that spoke of good breeding. His hair fell gently over his perfectly shaped eyebrows and his perfect lips were held in a slight smile.

"Sit next to me?" He asked charismatically with a smile that weakened my knees. I could only gulp and nod my compliance. Walking towards the table I felt giddy and a little light headed. What was happening to me? I had never had this happen before.

"So, what do you think? Are you going to stay here?" He asked suddenly when I sat down.

"I um… don't know." I stated simply and chomped down on some crispy bacon. I'm not going to lie, it was the most amazing thing I had ever tasted! I continued to eat, well, scarf down my food is more like it. I could feel Darien's eyes on me but I was far too preoccupied with my food to notice him.

When I was finally full I sat back only to see an amused grin on his face. "I don't think I've ever seen a woman eat like that." He chuckled which made me blush.

"Sorry, my first real breakfast." I whispered lightly and watched him nod and take a bite of his bacon.

"I see. Then that explains it. In any case, we don't care around here. We have tons of supplies and the means to get more." He then fixed his eyes on me once again. "So, tell me, why consider going back out there alone when you could have us? You don't have to hide here. You would be free."

"Perhaps, or maybe I'd be caged like an animal. My father always said that if something seemed too good to be true, it was. I will not disillusion myself into thinking that this place is paradise." I snapped with a little more venom than I intended.

"Serena! Don't talk to Darien like that! He's been a saint to us all!" Mina suddenly materialized next to me with the face of an irate rhinoceros.

"Mina." Darien scolded then looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. "Learn to recognize intelligence when you see it. Serena, I commend you on your skepticism. Everyone else here was all too eager to enter the group. You are weighing your options, measuring us. This place is what you make of it. If you enjoy the company, commodities, and rules then yes, it is paradise. If you do not, then all I am offering you is pointless. I will say this." He turned serious for a moment. The darkness that entered those blue depths terrified me. "I have been following you for months now. I have personally killed ten men who were going to attack you. If you leave here, you will not last a day. I am not threatening you, simply telling the truth."

I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. He had been following me? This powerhouse of a man? I suddenly felt the need to take another good look at him. Yes, I was right, this man was dangerous, dangerous in many ways. He was physically powerful, intelligent, and skilled. The part that worried me most was the effect he had on me. I wanted to faint when he spoke, to be close to him… even more disturbing, I wanted dig my teeth into his lips, jaw, and neck; hell, any part of him for that matter. I would rip the flesh off his bones with my teeth if given the chance.

I quickly silenced my thoughts. Cannibalism was not my thing, it was other peoples' thing. I didn't eat humans, nor did I want to. Well, I didn't want to eat Darien per se, just, attack him?

"So, you want me to join you so I can grow vegetables?" I asked incredulously. "Seems like you're doing fine without me."

"We are, but we cannot grow them as well as you. You have a gift. Also, you're intelligent. Not many people are. Don't look at this in terms of what you will give, look at it in terms of what you will get. Human companionship and camaraderie, a safe place to stay with clean water and food, and something to occupy yourself with. In addition, if you go anywhere, one of us guys will go with you as well in order to protect you. You know how volatile it is out there." He leaned back in his chair with a smirk. "Come now, make the logical choice."

"I will make whatever choice I want." I huffed and stood. Luna was on my heels in a moment. "I don't know what you're up to but I'm not sure I like it!" I shouted. Darien simply laughed which infuriated me.

"Wow, you could cut it with a butter knife." Mina stated plainly.

I glared at her. "Cut what?" I snapped. "Cut what with a butter knife?"

"The sexual tension." She smiled. "I have never seen Darien so set on something." She laughed again. "I mean damn."

I paled and looked at him again. The amused glint in his eyes was gone, replaced now with a warning for Mina. I stepped away from the table and Darien. Of course, that was his motive. What a surprise. If I entered into this world I wouldn't be able to get away from him. I would be in his debt, his personal slave. Well, Serena Tsukino is no idiot.

Without warning I rushed towards the room I had been given. Luna was in first and I shut and locked the door. Moving a chair to block me in I let out a panicked breath. I was trapped, I couldn't leave without them letting me! How stupid I was to think this could ever be a good thing!

I leaned against the wall and heard shouting. "Damn it Mina! What the hell were you thinking! She just came in from the outlands and you go cracking jokes about that?" Darien sounded angry, furious even.

"I wasn't thinking! Darien!" She cried. "Darien wait, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry! You had better be! Because of you she's going to leave. Your idiotic comment just killed her. Congratulations!" He shouted and I heard a loud smash. Even through the concrete and metal I could hear his rage. Hear Mina's regret. Was it true? Was Mina joking?

No, of course not. Even now they were acting, spinning a web of deceit in order to keep me here. Darien obviously had ulterior motives with everyone there. I'd be damned if I fell into his trap. No man was going to touch me, much less one that schemes like Darien.

I sat on the bed and looked at Luna. She seemed sad, as if I was about to break her heart. Hell, I was going to break my own heart. I didn't want to leave. I would have everything here but the price was too high. I would not bow down to a man, not now, not ever.

A light knock came at the door and I held my breath. Sure, I knew that whoever it was knew I was in here; but I felt better holding my breath. "Serena?" I heard Lita's voice from the other side of the door. "Can I talk to you?"

"Talk." I stated plainly. I wasn't about to open that door. There was too much danger.

"I'm not going to talk to you through the door. I just want you to know, that I understand what you're upset about. If you'll let me in we can talk about it. No one else is near me." She soothed through the doorway. She made me want to open the door.

I finally gave in and opened it for her. She slipped in and shut it behind her, flipping the lock. When she turned to me she had an understanding glint in her eyes. "Serena, I'm sorry about that. Mina is a bit dense. She doesn't understand what women like us are worried about." Lita frowned and stepped towards me. She sat on the bed and sighed. "Mina has always had everything her heart desires. Her family has lived in this compound for some time. She was born here and will likely die here. Darien and Raye kept her sheltered, never allowing her out unless Dare went with her. Then she met Malachite and everything else was history. She is naïve and childish. She has never really seen the outside world. She explores now, but she doesn't know what it is like to be attacked. To not have security." Lita spoke from her heart and I nodded in understanding.

"I grew up in the outlands. Scraping for food, I was on my own since I was ten. My parents were murdered. I got away and simply ran. I've spent my life running. Alone, scared. Darien found me first. God I was terrified of him. He was so much bigger than me, stronger. With him was Nephrite, you saw him, he was ginormous. I thought they would rape and murder me. I was begging for my life before Darien had ever uttered a word." She chuckled lightly then shook her head. "He asked me if I could cook. I said yes and now I'm here. I've grown close to everyone, especially Nephrite. I know he is interested in me, but, he understands. He is so patient with me, one day, maybe, I'll be able to be with him but not now."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked while feeling my patience run thin. I didn't care about her story. Not really at least.

"Serena, Darien is the leader around here. As leader he understands us and knows what we need. If he is interested in you in a romantic sense, he will never, ever, make an advance unless he was sure you would accept him. He is not an animal like so many of the others are. He is kind, caring, and very perceptive. He will not harm you in any way. I swear to you he won't. Besides, even if he ever thought of it Amara would have it out with him." Lita laughed heartily and closed her eyes to picture a scene in her mind.

"I don't want anyone to be interested in me." I shook my head and pouted. "I just want to live my life."

"Live your life here and it will be better and longer." Lita finished and stood. She smiled at me then excused herself from my room.

She had given me much to think about. Maybe I could live here. Mina was simply naïve, everyone else understood me… maybe. Lita's comforting words washed over me. She would look out for me, so would Amara. Maybe I could live here. I could be happy here. Luna would be.

With that thought I nodded and stood. I walked out the door to the great room where I saw Mina jump up from her seat. Raye pulled her back down with a warning glare then looked at me with sad eyes.

"Where is Darien?" I demanded firmly.

"I'll take you." Seiya smiled as he seemed to materialize next to me. I jumped a bit and gulped. I nodded and looked at the group who was staring at me intensely.

Seiya placed a hand on my back and began to lead me to the stairs. With a glare I shook him off and continued up. I could feel his eyes on me and I wondered if this was a good idea. Maybe allowing Seiya to lead me around was a terrible idea.

We reached the second floor and Seiya stepped forward and opened a door for me. Beyond the door was a stairwell that lead up. I stepped in and Seiya followed. The door closed behind us and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle up.

"So, I hope you stay." I could hear the suggestion in his voice and I hated it. "Can I persuade you at all?" I felt his hand on my hip and I turned to him angrily.

"Keep your hands off of me! Touch me again and there will be consequences." I snapped at him and felt a chill run down my spine as he smiled.

"I like my chances." He added then stepped into me.

I'll admit, I was a little surprised. I had never been this close to a man before. I went so speak then heard a voice in my place.

"Back up Seiya. I'll remind you, you're still on probation. One wrong move and I'm throwing you out." Darien's voice drew my eyes to the top of the staircase.

"Yeah yeah, I was just bringing her up to you." Seiya shrugged then turned from me and exited the hall.

"You think you can handle the likes of him?" Darien spoke and turned from me. He disappeared from view. That irritated me instantly. I walked after him angrily.

"I would have been fine. I can defend myself." I retorted and crossed my arms. Something about that smug tone of his got to me. "You think you're sooo much better than me but you're not!" I shouted at him. When he didn't respond I stomped up the stairs and was met with pitch black. I continued forward a bit, one hand gliding along the wall the other in front of me in case I collided with anything.

It was quite a ways to walk then my hand met fabric. I stopped, my heart started beating erratically. I didn't move my hand despite my need to. The heat that was coming off of the fabric made me all too aware of what my hand was on. Finally removing my hand I took a deep breath. Why wasn't he speaking?

"Are you scared?" His voice filled the room we were in, his tone was no longer amused or smug.

"Of what? You?" I asked as confidently as I could. Truth be told I was terrified. "No."

"You're lying." I knew he was close because his breath tickled my ear. "You are scared. If you weren't you wouldn't have run from me at breakfast. Truth is, you should be scared. I'm stronger than you and I have more experience in combat. So, don't lie to me. I know better."

"What do you want from me?" I whispered into the darkness. I was afraid of the answer to tell the truth.

"I want you to live Serena. You're a good person, smart and talented. You don't need to die, you don't need to suffer. Stay here with us and I will guarantee you'll be safe." He was being very convincing really. I wanted to say yes.

"No, I can take care of myself." I repeated.

"Prove it." He challenged.

"What?"

"Prove to me that you can take care of yourself. Fight me." He demanded. I didn't have time to respond before he grabbed me by the arms and forcefully pushed me against the wall. I could tell he was being gentle with me and it irritated me to no end.

I struggled against him a bit without success then cried out when he threw me to the ground. I landed on my hands and knees and began to scramble away. I could hear him walking after me. He grabbed my feet and pulled me towards him, I gasp as I realized his body was between my legs then growled as he held my hands down.

"You don't stand a chance." He stated plainly and released me. Moving away from my body I missed the heat he'd provided. "You're not ready to face a bunch of men who want to do damage." I let out a breath and stood.

"I'm not staying." I insisted then frowned when I heard him chuckle. "I'm not!"

"Fine, don't." He stated then a light flooded the hall we were in. I could see him, standing beneath an opening in the ceiling. He then climbed up a short ladder and out. "Come here." He offered his hand. I climbed up the ladder and gasp as I looked around. We were outside, atop a large rock formation. I could see for miles and miles. It was beautiful.

Looking towards Darien I knit my brow with confusion. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked.

"I come up here to watch, to think." He revealed to me simply. "I understand why you don't want to stay, but I also want you to know that I'm not going to let you go alone. If you leave, I'm going with you. You can fight me if you want but I'm going. You need protection. I don't trust Seiya to go with you, Taiki and Yaten are a little strange, and all of the others hate being away from the girls. That's why you're stuck with me." He smiled at me. "I want to talk to you about what Mina said."

I felt my back stiffen as he turned to me. "She's not wrong you know? Certainly not tactful at all, but not wrong." He laughed a little. "You don't need to worry though. Just because there's tension now doesn't mean there will always be tension between us."

"I don't understand what you're talking about." I stated. Mina had mentioned something about sex. What the hell was sexual tension?

"My apologies. Sexual tension, is where there is an uneasy air around two or more people. The unease is a result of being sexually attracted to one another." I blushed a little as he said it. "I won't lie, I'm very attracted to you but, I'm not one of the animals what run around outside. Based on your reaction to me, I'm very sure you're attracted to me." He smiled. I didn't respond to him at all.

"I'm not attracted to you." I defended myself and crossed my arms. How dare he say I was sexually attracted to him! I wasn't sure how to tell whether or not he was right but still.

"You are. I can see it in your eyes, in the way you blush. Let me ask you this, when you first saw me, did you want to attack me in any way?" He asked almost as if he had read my mind.

I hesitated then looked down at the ground. "Yes." I admitted. "Don't freak out but I wanted to tear your jaw off with my teeth."

He started laughing loudly. I felt embarrassed, shouldn't he have been scared of me? I just said I wanted to seriously damage him. Some time passed before he regained himself and looked at me with a large smile. "I'll say so. Well, try not to do that and we'll get along just fine."

"I can't promise you anything." I smirked as he laughed again. "So, you're going to follow me around whether I stay or go."

"Right. So, whenever you're ready, I'm ready. I just need to talk to Mal briefly. I'm putting him in charge while I'm gone." He stated simply then walked back towards the opening for the bunker. "Ready to get going?"

"I suppose." I stated simply and walked to him. He nodded and jumped into the opening. I jumped as well and squeaked when he caught me. Putting me down he reached up and closed the door then locked it. He then grabbed my hand and lead me down the dark hallway, to the stairs and down. He then released my hand and opened the door for me to step into the great room. I called for Luna and walked down to the room I had been given to gather my things. I hadn't brought much but it was still mine.

I gathered my items and stepped back out where Darien was talking to Malachite. Malachite was nodding. Mina then appeared next to me with Lita. "I'm sorry, please, don't go!" Mina insisted.

"Shut up ditz. She's leaving." Lita snapped and held out a package. "Here, it's bacon." She smiled at me then patted my shoulder as I took it. "Good luck out there with him on your ass. He's a stubborn bastard."

I saw Darien motion for me to follow and excused myself from Mina and Lita. I then walked to Darien and he went towards the door. I couldn't help but feel like everyone else was watching me leave. We went through the bunker door to the exit hall then out into the canyon.

"Going out guys, won't be back for quite some time. Malachite's in charge." He waved as we walked. I struggled to keep up with him, his long legs carried him farther in one stride than my short ones. I didn't find that to be all that fair.

"Will you slow down? I'm shorter than you." I complained. He slowed immediately so I could keep up. "Thank you."

"I forget I tend to walk quickly." He apologized. "So, how long have you been on your own?"

"A year maybe." I replied simply and hoped he wouldn't ask any more, something told me he would. "Dad died about a year ago, my mother two years ago."

"Sorry." He nodded. "My parents passed about ten years ago. Since then Raye and I have really focused on expanding our people." The way he spoke conveyed his sincerity. Why would they be focusing on expanding? What benefit did they get out of doing such a thing? They had plenty of supplies so they didn't need more. Maybe it was an expertise issue. They needed different people with different knowledge.

The next mile was walked in silence. Darien seemed fairly aloof about following Luna and I home. He certainly did not show signs of being uncomfortable about intruding. That's exactly what he was doing too, intruding. I didn't want him in my home, my family home. There was no reason for it. Sure he said he would help me defend myself but still. I had a bow and arrow now. I could defend myself!

When we came upon my home I walked to the dumpster and opened the secret door. Luna rushed in and was shortly back giving me the "all clear" sign. I opened the door and slipped in. Darien was in behind me and he shut the door and locked it.

The darkness that greeted us was a familiar one. I knew my way around this place. Much like Darien knew his bunker.

"I um, I use candles for my own light." I spoke simply and found my matches and a candle. I quickly lit the match then touched it to the wick illuminating the wax object. "Do you want a tour?" I asked a little awkwardly. He nodded and I sighed. "Very well. This is my living area. As you can see I have a little kitchen and a table for eating as well." I walked to the bathroom and motioned to it. "This is the bathroom. Only one so we will be sharing. I don't generally turn on the water heater but the water usually stays fairly tepid." He nodded again, it seemed his eyes were studying my every move. It made me uncomfortable.

I continued through, showing him my garden area, compost room, my room, then finally my father's old room. I hesitated in the doorway and felt my stomach drop a bit. I hadn't opened the door to my father's room in almost a year. "Th… This will be your room… f… for as long as you stay." I spoke and turned the door knob. The door swung open as if nothing had changed.

Darien stepped into the room and looked around. "This was your father's room." He stated more than asked. "I'm flattered." He turned to me then frowned. "I will sleep in the living area if you prefer. My being in here seems to upset you."

"It's not you. I'm just… remembering." Tears that I had tried to forget were soon trickling down my face. "Please, excuse me. I'm tired and need my rest." I then walked away from him and went to my room. Lying on my bed I hugged a pillow and sobbed away my sorrows.


	5. Entry 4 August 19, 2111

Ohhh, my goodness, I have been terrible, I know it. Sorry. That's all I really have to say for now. Enjoy and Review please!

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Entry 4- August 19, 2111

I couldn't get the images out of my head. The blood covered my hands, my clothes stained, the room reeked of death. These were the thoughts I didn't want, the thoughts he had once had as well. What had been done, needed to be done, but at what price?

I could feel Darien's eyes on me, questioning what was going on in my head. I didn't care what he was thinking. I know I looked terrible. I could feel my swollen and red eyes, feel my skin devoid of color and heat. I knew he wanted to ask. Ask what upset me so. I couldn't tell him. Not yet. Not now.

"What did you have in mind for me today?" I asked him suddenly. It was better than sitting in the awkward silence we were sitting in. He leaned back in his chair, studying me.

"Nothing. Today I just wanted to watch you work." He informed me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Luna who was gazing at me with understanding eyes. Damn cat, knew me far too well.

He looked concerned, no doubt it was the look of me that alarmed him. I might as well have been holding a sign that said I cried all night long. I diverted my eyes to the table and sighed. "I don't have much to do. I need to check on my vegetables but other than that, It's a boring day."

"Okay then." He nodded then leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. We sat in silence, the both of us testing one another with silence. How long would it stay like this? I wondered to myself. On one hand, I didn't care, on the other, I cared far too much.

Standing I walked to my vegetable room and opened the door. He was behind me, I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move as I checked each plant, adjusted the water levels, then tested the pH of the soil with a small pH monitor. My plants were happy and healthy, a good thing. I could tell they would need compost soon, I didn't want to go in there, the compost room was the worst place for me.

Every time I entered the room I was reminded of what I had done, what I had to do. What I could do now. With that thought I glanced at Darien. If push came to shove, could I do it to him?

"Why do I get the feeling you're sizing me up for something?" He asked suddenly. "Think you could beat me today hm?" He mused.

"It wouldn't be hard to do. I know where you sleep now. You're here, with me. How do you know I didn't want someone to come here with me? How do you know I'm not dangerous? Because I'm a woman?" I questioned him. His haughty tone was getting to me.

"No. I just know. If you want to talk tough, why were you crying last night?" He asked simply. Bastard! I knew he would bring it up. I tried to ignore the visions that plagued my mind. I glanced at my hands briefly then shook my head.

"None of your business." I snapped and walked past him. I grabbed a book off the shelf and sat in my dad's old chair. He loved this chair.

Darien followed my lead and sat down near me on the couch. We spent hours like that. The two of us silently reading. It was mid-day when we heard a noise at the door. Darien closed his book and jumped up. His form ready for confrontation.

"Whoo! Lookie here! I bet this'll be a nice place to camp out don't you think? This ole dumpster will protect us from the dust storms." A twangy, raspy voice stated just on the other side of the door.

"Yeah, too bad the top cover's missin' on the thing. That woulda been nice. We could of had us a new home." Another male voice added. Darien looked at me with annoyance briefly. I could tell he was thinking like me. If these two hillbilly idiots made my doorway a home we'd have a hell of a time getting out or coming back in.

"Well, we could find us some board and make a cover." The first man said happily. "I think we should. Them market fellas said that woman comes through these parts so we're bound to see her if we just camp out here." I shuddered. So, they were looking for me? Darien wasn't lying. I was simply lucky to have him here.

"Yeah, sure is funny though, you'd think she'd hold up in a place like this herself. It ain't like she stays out under the sky and stuff. She hides. Wonder if there's any hidin' areas around here?" The second man asked. "Damn, what I wouldn't give to have me a woman."

I watched Darien's face contort with anger. Maybe it was the fact that the man just wanted a woman, or maybe that he was looking for me, either way, it pissed Darien off. His body was stiff as he glared at the door. There was something about his stance that impressed me, something about him that impressed me.

When he finally turned to me I could see determination in his eyes. He had made some sort of decision and, to tell the truth, I was a little apprehensive. I still knew very little about him. He walked to me then whispered. "Tonight, when they fall asleep I'll take care of them. They mean trouble." He then walked back into his room and closed the door softly.

I looked at Luna who was now sniffing around the door and sighed. More blood would be spilled. That's when I cringed. I would have to do it again, this little happening could be beneficial really. With that in mind I walked to Darien's door and rapt lightly. Opening the door he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What's on your mind?" He asked simply.

"What do you plan to do with their bodies?" I asked a little colder than I had intended. Then again, you always seem cold when talking about a dead body.

His eyes darkened a bit as he processed my question. "What do you want to do with them?" I could see slight worry behind his eyes and realized what he may be thinking. I smiled a bit at the thought. Telling someone you had the urge to rip their jaw off with your teeth then asking about the disposal of dead bodies never ended with a good thought.

"I'm not a cannibal." I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Well, not really. I need them for fertilizer." I didn't expect him to understand what I was saying and surprise, he didn't'. If anything, my response worried him even more. "For my plants Darien. Look, I don't expect you to understand but It's necessary.

"You, what? You use dead people to feed your plants?" His face was oddly blank.

"Yes. Decomposing bodies offer all sorts of nutrients for soil. That, is what makes my vegetables so great." As the words left my mouth he nodded. Did he actually understand what I was saying? Was he okay with that?

"All right, what will you need me to do then?" He smiled and leaned against the doorframe.

"Well, getting them into the compost room is important. Then you can help me process them." I nodded firmly then went to my room. I could feel my emotions swirling. The memory of the last time I made a person into plant food still bothered me. I only hope I didn't break down when Darien was helping me.

In a few hours we could hear the two men snoring. Darien slowly unlocked the door and began to inch it open. The door opened in, revealing the two men sleeping. He looked at me and understanding passed between us. This would be the first time I killed a person but I had to help him. I knew this would be hard, I only hoped I could do it.

Stepping to the men carefully I stood over the smaller man and frowned. These men smelled as if they had not bathed in months, The man beneath me was hairy and had very few teeth. He was disgusting.

Done with my evaluation I looked at Darien who nodded at me. I carefully moved the man's arms so they were at his sides then stood over him. One leg on either side. I then took a deep breath and fell to my knees, my body hitting his stomach harshly knocking the wind out of him. I tightened my legs then held his nose and covered his mouth.

I fought to stay put as he struggled against me, his eyes wild as he looked for anything to help him. Then, they connected with mine and a knowing light came into them. I felt my resolve waiver for a moment then hunkered down and applied more pressure to him. Behind me I could hear the other man kicking to try and get out of Darien's powerful grip. I knew he wouldn't. One look at Darien's large hands and forearms allowed me to understand that.

I felt the man beneath me begin to calm and I felt a little surprised. Unfortunately, that's when he pushed his body up and over, effectively pinning me beneath him. In the process I released his mouth and nose but kept my legs firm. I couldn't let his arms free no matter how uncomfortable I was.

"You picked the wrong man bitch!" He screamed at me and forced my legs apart. I punched him and scrambled to get out from him then yelped as he delivered a hit of his own. My head spun and I couldn't see straight. I felt his weight lift from me, heard him shout with anger, then a snap.

Darien appeared over me, his hands cradled my head. "Serena, hey, are you okay?" He waited for a response then growled a bit. I felt his arms beneath me then he lifted me up and carried me to the couch.

I simply closed my eyes. The room was spinning and I only hoped this wasn't permanent. I could hear him moving around then the door was closed and he was by me again. "Sorry." He offered calmly. I nodded but didn't respond.

We sat in silence for a while, when the room stopped spinning and my headache subsided I opened my eyes and looked at him. He looked concerned to say the least. "Let's get to work." I groaned and sat up. He was immediately by me and pushed me back down.

"No, not yet." He insisted.

"Darien, we have to get working now. If we wait too long we won't be able to stomach doing it. Trust me." I sat up again and looked at him. "We don't have time to waste." I stood up and teetered a bit. Darien held my arms and looked at me with worry.

He was so close I could feel his body heat. "Come on." I stepped back from him and to the compost room. He followed me in and I took a deep breath. The men were on the ground, their eyes devoid of any life. "On the wall there are a few bone saws grab them. We first need to get them into pieces." Darien nodded and did as I asked.

We went to work. Darien silently following my every move. I hated doing this, hated it with every fiber of my being. We separated their bodies into pieces, removed some of their less important organs, then did the nasty work.

When we were fully done and our clothes were soaked with blood I looked at Darien who was studying me carefully. "Where did you learn to do this?"

"My grandparents were butchers and taught my father. He taught me. My dad told me that he and grandpa would go out and find bodies that were fairly fresh. They would then bring them back here and do what we just did. I only watched my dad do it twice but twice was enough really." I said simply then grew quiet.

"Serena, what did you do with your father's body?" He asked me with his eyes full of sadness. I didn't respond. He knew, I could see that in his eyes. I had only done what my father requested. It was the cruelest request he had ever made but I honored it.

"I'm sorry Serena. No one should have to do that." Darien shook his head then followed me out of the room. I nodded and went into my room. I grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom. I showered quickly then sat on the couch while Darien did the same. He came out of the bathroom with his hair wet and his t-shirt sticking to his shoulders and chest. I forced myself not to look at him. I wanted to look, dear God how I wanted to look!

He sat down in the chair and stared at me. "You're so strong. I could not have done what you did." I nodded simply and ran my hand over Luna's soft fur.

"I'm not proud of it. I did what my dad wanted me to do." I shrugged and stood. Picking up Luna I bid Darien a good night and went to my room. Tonight was going to be another sorrow-filled night.


	6. Entry 5 November 2, 2111

Okay, faster update? Good yeah? Let me know with a REVIEW!

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Entry 5- November 2, 2111

Very little happened since we had ended the two men. I had been teaching Darien how to care for the plants. He was doing well. We had fallen into a silent routine. We were able to move around each other with simplicity. Going out for supplies was much easier with Darien. I wore typical clothes, I enjoyed not having to wear my disguise or douse myself with alcohol.

Andrew had told me he always knew I was a woman. He'd been covering for me for years but he was glad I was in good company now. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Darien was not permanent company.

He had been teaching me to defend myself against people. I was getting pretty good at it really. I had yet to use my skills but I had a feeling that I would need them soon. Darien was more and more confident about my defense skills.

We were coming back from a supply run when we ran into trouble. Four men surrounded us, each of them holding club-like weapons. I had my bow with me but I was still a little scared. Darien didn't seem worried at all.

"Move out of our way and we'll let you live." Darien spoke with authority. Three of the men looked at the forth with reserve. The fourth man simply laughed.

"Please buddy." He laughed. "Hand over the woman and we'll let you live." The man soon stopped laughing. "Did you hear me or are you just stupid? Hand the bitch over and you can go on your way. We won't even take your supplies." Darien remained silent which served to irritate the man more. "Just get the fuck away from her." The man stepped closer to Darien tapping him with the club.

Darien slowly turned his head and looked at the club on his shoulder. I could see it in him, the determination to serve justice to these men. Without warning he swung his arm up, grabbed the man's arm and twisted it behind the man's back. In the blink of an eye he'd snapped the man's neck and let him fall to the hard dirt ground.

"Anyone else want to challenge me?" He looked at the other men who stood wide-eyed. "No? Then get out of our way." We began walking and the others scrambled away from us. I looked at Darien with a blush. Seeing him in action had stirred something within me. Once again, I wanted to attack him. In the end, I decided I'd give it a try and see what happened. Darien would probably wind up laughing at me because he had an advantage. He was stronger than me, much, much stronger than me.

We got back home and put away our supplies. He was walking into the living room when I made my move. I went to tackle him only to have him move aside, grab me, then throw me onto the couch. "You're far too predictable." He laughed and sat down in the chair he favored. I sat up and glared at him. "Sore about not being able to school some of those guys?" He chuckled and looked at me.

"No, just testing my skills." I stated innocently. This wasn't over. I wasn't done with him. He could sit there and chuckle all he wanted. By the end of the day though I will tackle him. "You just have an unfair advantage."

"No, I'm just more alert than you. I could hear you coming. You were calculating then moved quickly. Predictable." He shrugged. I snorted and crossed my arms.

I stood and stomped to the kitchen grabbing a towel I threw it at the back of his head and was rewarded with a calculated look. He was weighing me, I could tell. He then stood and turned to me. "You sure you want to start this with me Serena?" He lifted an eyebrow. I briefly wondered what he meant but shrugged. I was ready, ready to kick his ass!

I moved out of the kitchen and in front of him. "I'm going to kick your ass." I smirked and began my attack. He blocked my every move with a slight smile. I hated that smile! It made me even more determined.

We continued on for a while then I growled in frustration and attempted to trip him. He didn't budge but used my poor balance to swing me into the wall then pinned me there. He laughed a bit as I glared. "See? Unfair advantage!" I whined then was silenced by his lips connecting with mine.

Electricity shot through my body leaving me stunned. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, and I certainly couldn't pull away from him. Then his tongue touched my lips and, as if they had minds of their own, they parted.

When his tongue touched mine I think I lost my mind. Immediately my arms wrapped around him and I began to do what he was doing. My tongue fought with his in a power struggle that was rendering me breathless. I could feel my heart beating rapidly and my skin felt so warm. In addition to these physical symptoms I felt a longing for something I wasn't totally sure what.

I felt Darien's hands on me, exploring my curves. His strong hands were massaging as they travelled over me, their strength turning me to putty. Whatever he was doing to me was more powerful than anything I had ever experienced.

Darien suddenly separated himself from me and locked his deep blue eyes on me. "Sorry. I just had to do that once." His voice was hoarse as he stepped back from me.

I took deep breaths, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I stared at him. I'm not sure why I did it but I lunged at him. My arms wrapped around his neck and I attacked his lips with my own. He responded immediately, this time his hands grasp at my ass and breasts. Removing my lips from his I reconnected with his jaw, my teeth grazing his skin as I moved my lips over his jaw to his neck.

He sighed and made strange growling noises as I continued. I couldn't help it, I nipped at every bit of skin on his jaw and neck, even nibbling on his ear. He groaned loudly when I did that. I was proud of myself for that. Something told me that his groans were indicators of good things.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing Serena?" He asked me groggily. I can't say I knew exactly what I was doing. I just knew it felt right. I wanted to do this. I loved the way he tasted, the way he felt against my own body. I even liked hearing all his little noises.

"I'm doing what I want to do. Is that bad?" I asked breathily.

"So you don't really know what you're doing right now?" His tone was becoming less and less hoarse.

"I gather that you do?" I smiled and tangled my fingers in his hair.

"I know far too well what you are unintentionally doing." He breathed and grabbed my wrists. "My advice to you is that you stop now."

"I don't want to stop." I challenged and touched my lips to his jaw again.

"Serena, I'm warning you. If you keep doing what you're doing you might regret it." He growled angrily.

"No." I laughed and pulled his lips to mine again. He was fighting me but then responded fully. He then pushed me back against the wall and attacked my lips. I moved my hands over his shoulders to his chest, feeling the muscles underneath his shirt. I moved my hands under his shirt and traced the lines of his torso. Moving a little way from me he pulled his shirt off and tossed it into his chair.

"Better?" He asked with a grin. I simply stared at him. I had seen naked men, mainly the dead ones I was used to chopping up, but none of them looked like Darien. He looked like he had been chiseled from stone. "Is that a yes?"

"I've never seen anyone with muscles like that." I gulped and looked into his eyes. "You are the most attractive man I have ever met." He smiled at that and moved his lips to mine gently.

"I love kissing you." He smiled at me and touched his lips to my neck.

Kissing, I'd heard that word somewhere. My dad used the word a few times when he'd touch his lips to my forehead. So, that's what kissing is. As my mind processed the new term I felt a ping of realization hit me. People kissed when they loved each other. I loved Darien. I don't know when it happened but it did.

I felt my shirt being lifted away from me but didn't pay any attention really. I was more concerned about kissing Darien. He then broke away from my lips and kissed my neck similarly to how I had been kissing his. I gasped as electricity shot through me . The sound was rewarded by him lifting my body off the floor.

My arms and legs then wrapped around his body as if that was the only option for me. When I did this I realized there was a heat between my legs that had never been there before. It made me wrap my legs around him tighter and ball my fists in his hair.

He continued kissing my neck but then moved to my collar bone. He traced it with his lips and tongue then lifted me a little higher and kissed the cleavage peeking out of my bra. I wanted more from him, wanted him to kiss me more. I reached around and unhooked my bra, removing it from my torso and allowing him full access to my breasts.

That's when it hit me. He was warning me to stop because of this. I was half undressed and more than likely well on my way to being completely nude. We were going to have sex. When his mouth suddenly enveloped the peak of my left breast I realized I didn't care. Whatever this was, if it was sex, I didn't' care. I wanted this.

He moved me away from the wall and began to walk to my bedroom. Yup, definitely going to have sex. I wondered what I had gotten myself into as he laid me on the bed his body covering mine. Then his lips were on my body once again. I returned his efforts by kissing and nipping on his skin and by moving my nails over his skin.

He then began to remove my pants and underwear, the fabric sliding down my legs. I was definitely nervous. What would be expected of me? Was this going to hurt? What would things be like between us from now on? I simply didn't know.

"You're so beautiful Serena." Darien smiled down at me and kissed me. "Are you sure you want to do this? I'll stop now if you want."

"I'm sure Darien. I'm not afraid of this." He nodded and removed his pants and underwear. Seeing him nude before me I was surprised to realize I wasn't scared or repulsed, I really must love him. He laid on top of me and continued to kiss me. His hands still exploring my body.

I held back a yelp when I felt his finger brush my most intimate of places. I blushed then bit my lip as I felt one of his fingers enter me. It explored and moved within me creating an all-new sensation. I squirmed then grabbed his head and pulled him into a kiss.

We parted when he removed his fingers and positioned himself between my legs. I could feel him pressing against me and I ignored the discomfort that caused. "I've heard this can be uncomfortable. Sorry if it is." He apologized to me and I felt an immense pain shoot through my torso. I couldn't help but cry out and grip his shoulders tightly. My nails must have dug into him but I didn't care. No wonder the women I had encountered told me to avoid this at all costs.

I thought it was different with Darien. I had stupidly convinced myself that he wouldn't hurt me. Of course he'd hurt me! He just wanted me for the sex and here I was being an idiot. He hovered above me, his face looking like that of a man in pain.

I remained silent. I just wanted the pain to subside. He waited there, oh so very still. The pain soon dulled and I glared at him. "Sorry." He frowned. "Are you okay?"

"No I'm not okay! Let's get a broom and stick it up your ass, see how you feel!" I shouted at him. He frowned.

"Serena, I warned you earlier."

"Yeah, well, you didn't warn me enough. You tricked me somehow. I don't know how but you did." I snapped. His eyes seemed to harden as I let the words out. Then he moved his hips, pushing into me more. The action silenced me immediately.

"Tricked you? Serena, you seduced me here." He moved again, my original argument was growing fuzzy. He moved again causing me to groan a little. Something was happening here, it had hurt originally but now, now the pain had dwindled and pleasure was taking over.

But that's where I'm going to cut off this little *ahem* scene. I mean, yes, this is a diary but do you really need to know all of the gritty details? No. That's my opinion at least. It's bad enough I just wrote all of that. Maybe I'll cross that section out… I really don't want any future people knowing too much about my sex life. Hell, I'm not sure if Darien would approve of my writing this about him. Then again, what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? At least in this situation? Yeah, That's what I'm going to go with. All I can say is that I sure hope we do that again… I wonder if this means I have to go back to the compound with him. Will he leave me here if I say no? CAN I say no? Shit. What does this mean for us now? I mean, are we… what? I have no idea if I'm obligated to stay with him or not.

I sort of wish dad was still here. He'd be able to tell me what was expected of me now. If I ask Darien, will he be honest with me? Oh God! How could I do this to myself! Of course I'm obligated to be with him now! I'm his, I don't know what! Shit, oh SHIT! What is he going to do to me if, for any reason, I refuse his company? He's so big, and powerful! Then again, I can defend myself now.

Who am I kidding, he knows me too well. Far too well. He knows where I live, he knows how I grow my plants, how I fertilize them. Well, I'm doomed. Let it be known here, in this diary, in this page. If this is my last entry, then, Darien Lee Shields killed me. Hopefully he killed me at least. I can only hope that I wasn't dragged off as some sort of slave.

Well, I'm going to bed now. I'm tired, very tired. Hopefully I'll get to make another entry tomorrow.


	7. Entry 6 November 6, 2111

Hehe, Glad you all liked the last chapter. I think you're going to like this one and the next one too! I'm sorry for not responding to individual reviews this time. I'm moving on the 12th so I have a lot of things to do. I'm not sure I'll be updating as often as this for a while. I'm simply not sure. I have a belief in this story so I think I can get it hammered out fairly quickly but we'll just have to see won't we? Anywho, enjoy and REVIEW!

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Entry 6- November 6, 2111

Well, here I am, writing another entry. I guess that means I'm not dead yet. I did ask Darien what we are now. He simply smiled at me and shrugged. I didn't know whether to be insulted or not. He's spent his day sitting on the couch silently. He's been staring at me whenever I walk out there. What I wouldn't give to read his mind right now. It's just awkward right now without him speaking to me. I'm going to try and talk to him. I'll resume this entry after I come back. I don't want him knowing about this diary.

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Okay, so, I'm just as perplexed now. I asked him if he was angry with me and he insists no. "I'm not angry with you Serena. I'm thinking." He said with a blank tone. It was emotionless, carefully guarded. I didn't like this side of him. "Look, Serena, I don't want things to be strange between us. I don't expect anything from you just because of what happened between us. I plan to continue as planned. If anything is to change, it will be on your terms."

I simply don't know what to tell him. He seems to be as aloof as before but now he's just thinking. Thinking, thinking, thinking. I'm not sure I like what he's thinking about.

We sat there for some time, simply basking in the silence until there was a loud knocking at the door. The knocking was in a pattern that made Darien stand up immediately and open the door. Malachite stepped in with a concerned look on his face. I stood and looked at Darien with a little apprehension. What was Mal doing here?

"The witch is back. Said she had information for us. She said it has reached the suppliers just to the east." Mal recited with a precision and secrecy that had me on edge. He then paused for a few moments and sighed. "She tussled with Amara a little. Came at her with a knife. I think something happened to her out there. Not that she wasn't crazy before."

"She is none of our concern." Darien snorted with resentful spite and crossed his arms. "Letting her in just the once was a mistake." He reaffirmed and Mal nodded. "Do you think she's been in contact with it?"

"Amy and Zoi are trying to find out now. When she went for Amara we detained her and drug her to the lab. They were running tests as I left for you two. I just thought you should know." Malachite looked at me then back to Darien. "We'll force her out when we are done testing. She was demanding to see you, Mina let slip that you aren't there but other than that nothing is known. I would stay put until you get the signal. Here." Malachite handed Darien a two-way radio. "We'll be in touch." He nodded and went to the door. I could tell he wanted to say something more but something in the air felt tense and he didn't.

Mal left and I turned to Darien. I had so many questions. Who was the witch? What were they talking about? It was all so strange. "Who were you two talking about?"

"A woman who we originally thought would be a good addition to the compound. She is intelligent and rather stealthy. She's a good scout and investigator so to say. Unfortunately, she is rather unstable. I had to make her leave. She went out to investigate something that has been concerning. No worries about it right now though." Darien shrugged and sank into the couch once more.

"So, what is so concerning?" I knit my brow and gave him a stern look. He simply gazed at me and smiled.

"Nothing for you to worry about right now." He stated simply and sighed. I wasn't convinced by his tone or his body language. He was definitely hiding something. "Something troubling you?"

"Yeah! You!" I couldn't help but snap a little. I felt guilty but at the same time. He knew something that could potentially be dangerous. He wasn't sharing it. In addition to that, we were sort of close now… I hope. "What are you hiding from me? I think I get to know what is going on!"

"That all depends on you Serena." He verbally cornered me. I glared at him with purpose. What was that supposed to mean? "Are you coming back with me or are you staying here?" His eyes had sharpened somehow, if that even makes sense. I had always felt like he could look through me but in that moment it felt as if he was cutting through me with those eyes.

"I'm not sure! Can I trust you?" I eyed him as his jaw tightened. He didn't like that question. I don't really blame him for not liking it.

"You have up until now." He responded curtly and seemed to deepen his gaze on me. "Why stop now?"

I could feel something getting out of control here. I didn't know what, but I wasn't afraid of him. Then I realized, he'd taken away my fear of him! That sneaky bastard, he was just as dangerous now as he'd ever been. He'd infiltrated my home, knew my routine, knew my gardening secrets. He was far more cunning than I had imagined. What if the whole conversation and visit from Mal was all code for something? They could have been speaking secretly on a deeper level than I had thought.

"What is going on. I want to know everything." I demanded and crossed my arms. I could see Luna stir in her little bed, an indication that she too felt something awry.

"I told you, do not trouble yourself with it." He insisted and rolled his eyes as I shook my head. "It's nothing, really." He smiled at me and picked a book up from the table. I didn't like his mannerisms right now. I didn't like the way he seemed so distant. Was this a result of what had happened between us? Had I done something wrong? I thought it over and found no answer.

I turned my thoughts to this woman they had been speaking about. Darien seemed almost… hostile towards the thought of her. What had happened between them? Maybe they had been intimate? I wondered. I really didn't know much about Darien. He kept himself guarded. The intimacy could be his way of gaining trust. Then again who knew?

"Fine. What now? Are you just going to hang around here until Mal calls?" I couldn't help but have a bite in my tone. I was a little sore about this whole woman thing. Something about the mention of another woman got to me.

Darien looked at me with a blank stare then cracked a small smile. He shook his head and chuckled. "Jealous much?" I blushed a little. Damn this man! He knew what I was thinking all the time. I hated it.

"No worries Serena, the witch Mal mentioned doesn't hold a candle to you. You're the one I'm attracted to." He spoke simply then stepped close to me and looked deeply into my eyes. Oh how I loathed and loved him.

He simply gazed at me for a long while then smiled a sad smile. It was one of those moments that define a person. Something was wrong despite his want to tell me otherwise. I returned back to my previous thought of him. He was hiding something, something threatening. He'd gotten close to me, very close, close enough for me to be blinded by his charm. Underneath it all he was the same razor edged man I had been terrified of in the beginning. I couldn't trust him.

"Darien, if you expect me to return with you then I want to know what is happening. Telling me not to worry about it is making me suspicious of your intentions." I stated plainly, honestly. I didn't look at him, I was terrified to see those eyes, eyes that I was sure were furious.

I heard his breathing change, it's hard to say what the change was exactly, there was no deep sigh or heavy breath to speak of. It just suddenly changed is all. I jumped when he grabbed my chin and turned my face to his forcing me to look at him. He was emotionless.

"Suspicious? It is a poor time to become suspicious of me don't you think? The time for that was a month ago when you came to the compound." He spoke the words I already knew. Oh God! I was right, he was just here to exploit me!

"Why is it not enough for you to simply trust what I am saying. I have helped you, lived here with you, we have even shared a bed. You can trust me. I am not ready to share what I know as of yet because it is just a rumor. I don't need to worry you with possibilities." His voice was soft as he spoke to me. He was so close, close enough that I could feel his breath on my face. Close enough that his body heat warmed me.

Regardless, I wasn't going to fall for that. He was stalling. Trying his best to deflect me. "Darien." I repeated sternly. He responded by closing the gap between us and pressing his lips to mine.

Not this time! I would not be wooed by him. He was really trying to distract me now. I pulled away and he sighed. "I'm going to bed. Alone." I stated simply and walked to my room. I had a plan to get the information out of him. Perhaps I could use his own medicine on him.

I waited until I heard him go to bed. Pressing my ears to the wall I could hear him breathing deeply so I snuck out of my room and to the supply closet. I grabbed my supplies then stealthily opened the door to his room. If I couldn't get him to answer me straight then I would drag from him the answers. I had discovered one thing about him in our amorous activities and I was hoping I could exploit that.

Being silent I worked quickly and bound his hands and feet to the metal frame of the bed. I would have preferred to crisscross the rope under the mattress from hand to opposite foot but that was impossible doing it with him asleep.

When I was sure I had him secure I crawled onto the bed and sat on his stomach. This woke him immediately and he attempted to grab the unknown offender (me). He suddenly locked eyes with me then glanced at the rope holding his wrist. "Kinky." He smirked. "What are you doing Serena?"

"Getting answers." I smirked and grabbed the sash to the coat I was wearing over my otherwise free body. I tossed the coat to the ground and heard him inhale sharply. I had him, I knew I did. Of course, he wouldn't be so easily beaten.

"I want to know, what it is that you were talking about with Mal. What it is that has you worried." I cooed and rolled my hips a bit. Those blue orbs of his blackened until I could hardly tell he had blue in his eyes at all. Ah lust, what a wonderful tool!

I could feel his lower half becoming stiff as I gazed at him with cool satisfaction and curiosity. "Dare? Tell me." I smiled and ducked my head so my chin touched my shoulder. It was a move I used to get information out of my father at times. Lo and behold, Darien responded with a low growl and pulled at his wrist restrains.

"I don't think you thought through your interrogation." He suddenly smirked and rested his hands down. "What are you going to do if I don't tell you?" I could hear the lust in his voice, the guttural tone of it told me more than I needed to know.

I moved my hips some more, arching my back and grinding myself against his ever hardening manhood. I heard him inhale sharply, a hissing sound filling the room. As well as this was working he wasn't giving me my answer quick enough so I thought of the things he had done to me during our amorous activity. With a smile I let me hair down and lightly tussled it. His eyes were fixed on me intently. I had him. The fool.

He watched me carefully as I grabbed hold of the front of the robe I was wearing. His eyes trailing my hands as they undid the belt to my robe. Once I had it undone I lowered the fabric over my shoulders and lifted the material off of my body completely. As I threw the item to the floor I felt his flesh spring to life underneath me. The thin fabric of his undies the only barrier between us. "Dare, tell me!" I whined a bit and put my hands on his chest. Leaning forward I pushed my chest towards him and saw his eyes drop just where I wanted them.

Taking the opportunity I reached up and fondled my right breast a little while rocking my hips. I would be ruthless in getting this information if need be. He bit his lip while he stared at me. His eyes shining with mischief. Just as I felt him harden completely I sighed and removed myself from him. A groan alerted me to his protests and I turned slightly. "I will not please a man who keeps secrets from me. I refuse." I said lightly and waited for a response.

To my surprise and utter disappointment, Darien became lucid once more and shook his head. "Shame on you Serena." He eyed me. "T his is low, too low for you." He bit sharply. "I didn't know you were this shameful." He growled. "You've made a mistake though, when I get out of this, and I will. You won't be able to stop what I do to you." His tone was dark but didn't frighten me. Our activities had given me a new-found confidence in the idea of sex. I could handle it. It wasn't something terrible.

"Please Darien, if you can get out of there I'll be amazed." I snapped and grabbed my robe. I had failed, utterly failed. That asshole wouldn't know what hit him when I returned to get my answers. I would wait as long as it took to have what I wanted. I know it's wrong to think that I can force him to tell me these things. Even now as I write this I know it's wrong.

Then again, if I don't have my answer who knows what sort of trouble could be around me and I not know. It's simply practical for me to understand what's going on. Maybe I'll venture out to the compound on my own to discover what is going on. Surely one of the girls would tell me what the deal was. If not I could certainly beguile Seiya into letting me know. Maybe that is the way to get Darien to tell me. He's far too concerned with my safety to allow me to venture out on my own. Especially to go to the complex.


	8. Entry 7- November 8, 2111

Okay, been a while again I know. Since my last update I've moved and I'm now broadcasting to you from the Emerald City. Yay Seattle! Anywho, I've commenced my masters program and am busy with that. I'm trying to be slightly better. I find that I do have some ideas coming up for this story. Hopefully I'll keep on top of it. I know, I know, this is a short chapter but this is where I needed to end this chapter. Remember, this is a recording of thoughts and dialogues from Serena and those around her. Anywho, Enjoy and REVIEW!

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Entry 7- November 8, 2111

When I woke this morning Darien was gone. I panicked a bit I'll admit. With whatever was going on I was afraid to venture out of my home and if he'd left me permanently… I had to reign myself in. I didn't need him! I had faired fine all this time on my own and I would continue to do so.

I quick search of the place found that he'd taken the radio and some paper money. He left the vegetables and everything else. I picked Luna up and held her in my arms for comfort. Had I hurt his feelings? No, that wasn't possible. If anything he'd hurt MY feelings. He'd frightened me and now I knew I really couldn't trust him.

Then again, he hadn't revealed my location to anyone. He hadn't robbed me blind or killed me. Maybe I could trust him a little.

As I sat pondering the possibilities the door opened and I recognized his form as he stepped in with his arms and back loaded with supplies. He set the supplies down and looked at me. I couldn't read anything in those eyes. He'd guarded himself against me.

"We've had a request." He informed me. "Andrew has asked for shelter. He heard wind of the madness that is spreading and wants to join us. This is your shelter. You've allowed me to be here. Will you allow Andrew as well?" He asked and stared at me without emotion.

I thought about the possibility. Andrew had known for some time that I was a woman and had not betrayed me. I could trust him far more than I could Darien. It would be good to have Andrew around as a buffer.

"Yes, he can come here. On the condition that he provide us with fuel." I stated and stood.

"I agree. I told him that would likely be the stipulation. He's agreed. I will go and get him. He isn't far. I left him stationary not far away." Without another word Darien left the shelter and shut the door behind him. I went about putting away the supplies. When I was done the door opened again and Darien stepped in bringing with him more fuel and Andrew. Andrew stepped in and smiled warmly at me.

"Heya girly! Good to see you in your natural state and environment." Andrew looked around and sighed. "Nice set up."

"Thank you. My grandparents built this place." I smiled and felt myself relax a bit. I had an ally. "So, you will provide fuel for as long as you stay?" I asked more to solidify the deal than anything else.

"Yup! I'm your man!" He gave me a thumbs up and I nodded. I thought I saw Darien's jaw tighten a bit at that statement but couldn't tell when I looked at him. "I'll tell you what, this is fantastic! Good shelter, feminine company, and the ideal soldier!"

"Feminine company?" I repeated hoping he'd explain.

"Well hell, I'm always around a bunch of rowdy, disgusting men. It's nice to be around something a little more delicate." He smiled and, for the first time in a while, I became weary of Andrew. Glancing at Darien I saw a similar distrust in his eyes. "Not that you're delicate or anything… I.. um… I'll shut up now." Andrew wilted a bit and sat on the couch looking defeated. "Soo.. close quarters huh?"

"As long as we all respect boundaries we should be just fine." Darien asserted as I caught him glance at me. "Serena calls the shots around here, it is her home after all."

I'll admit. I felt like some sort of tennis ball. I was constantly being hurled back and forth between distrusting Darien and being fully enamored with him. It was yet another way he was apologizing for what had happened last night. I had forgiven him already, I knew that somewhere within me. I wasn't going to just come out and tell him though.

"Sleeping arrangements may be a little tight." I stated and surveyed the living space. Unless two people shared a room and maybe a bed someone would have to sleep on the couch. "Andrew, unless Darien is kind enough to share his room you'll be on the couch."

Andrew nodded and bounced a bit on the couch. "Hey! No problem. I've slept on the ground before. Even now I've been sleeping on an old mattress on the ground. This will be a step up." He smiled optimistically. I felt a little guilty. How did I have so much when a local merchant had so little?

I couldn't believe I was thinking it. Much less that it came out of my mouth but I said what came to me. "Well, if you're both good maybe we'll all be able to sleep in beds." I didn't blush, I was proud. Unfortunately, I hadn't fully thought out my statement.

"Um… look, Serena. You're fantastic and all but um. I'm not really, that liberal with my affections." Andrew stated and glanced at Darien. Just like that I realized what had been suggested and there was NO WAY I could allow him to think I was looking for a three-way.

"That's not what I meant Andrew. I meant, if you were both good boys then maybe we could figure out a better sleeping arrangement. I'm not suggesting we all bed down with one another." I laughed and Andrew seemed to loosen a bit.

"Don't get me wrong, I'd share a bed with you but not that oaf there. Darien's just not my type." Andrew laughed then grew overly serious when he glanced at Darien. I turned to look at the dark-haired man in question and noticed a glint in his eyes. It was something that I was unfamiliar with.

"What is your type Andrew?" Darien asked smoothly without missing a beat.

"Um, female." Andrew stated slowly and carefully. There was an unspoken conversation in the room. That much I knew. "I mean, I've visited the brothel before if that's what you're hitting at. Yeah, I guy has to get some action around these parts. Wouldn't be my first choice of female company though. Those ladies are… far too indifferent."

Darien clenched his jaw a bit when he heard that. "What do you expect? The only way they can make a life for themselves is to humor every male who walks in the door. I'm sure it's more than demeaning having to put up with most men that go there. Have you even thought about the sort of men that frequent those places?"

"Um, no. I mean. I'm not rude or anything to the girls. Not like some." Andrew tried to defend himself. Just as Darien went to speak again I interjected.

"Darien. What Andrew did in the past is not an issue here. Frankly, I would rather him go to a brothel then force some traveler in exchange for supplies." I crossed my arms. Even if a brothel was seedy it was still better than what most men do.

"If he's staying here then we should be concerned don't you think?" Darien added.

"Maybe before he was let in. If you want to get into that sort of questioning let's ask you Darien. What is your type?" I shot and saw Andrew squirm a little.

"I don't have one. I simply know what and who I like when I see it." He challenged me. "You know, what seems appealing to sink my teeth into." A raised eyebrow from him made me blush. Damn him!

"Yeah, I thought as much." Andrew laughed and stretched out. "Thank God that's out of the way. For a second there I thought I had a chance." He was smiling at Darien.

"What?" I shot at him uncertainly.

"Oh, come on, It's okay. I get it. If I were a woman I'd probably pick Darien too… wow, that sounded homosexual." He laughed. "I'm just glad there's no incentive for me to try and woo you because let's face it. I wouldn't stand a chance against him. Especially since you two have totally gone at it."

"What?" I exclaimed and glared at Darien. Telling everyone about it was not good.

"Well, it's obvious. The tension, the comments, the looks. You two went at it, hard. I can tell. Just do me a favor, try not to wake me with your animal noises. Okay?" Andrew smiled and winked at me. "I'm not going to get in the way. So, Darien you don't need to death stare me anymore."

"Andrew, you're being rude." Darien interjected which drew a smirk from Andrew. I gazed at Darien for a moment. Is that what the unspoken conversation was? Some sort of stake of ownership over me?

"Look, I'm not sure where this is coming from Andrew but Darien and I are…" I felt the sentence ending. Hell, even I don't know what we are.

"What, we are what?" Darien chimed in with a satisfied tone. Such arrogance!

For that I couldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me speechless. So I continued. "Hmmm, for the life of me. I can't remember that word. You know, slightly better than siblings… platonic. That's what we are. Platonic." I smiled. "What you don't seem to realize Andrew is that Darien may be pretty on the outside but on the inside he's mean, spiteful, and very cunning. I'm glad to have you here to help protect me from him."

I knew I had gone too far. I could feel it in the cold waves coming off of the man in question. Darien was furious, maybe even hurt.

"All jokes aside Serena." Darien snapped which drew my attention. "What are we? Or, did you really mean all of that and you have simply been a fantastic actress?" That had me confused. Me an actress?

"What?" I stared at him wide-eyed. "What are you talking about? How the hell should I know what we are, you're the one with the plethora of friends. I don't have anyone! I've never had a friend, only my family and they're all gone! So, you tell me what we are!" My voice had risen in sound level and pitch. I was upset. Damn this man for getting me so upset!

"Whoa, okay, okay. You two have some issues. If I may." Andrew stepped between us and put his hands up. "Serena, you're afraid of getting too attached to Darien because you don't trust him right? At the same time, you want to trust him but feel like he doesn't share enough with you right?" Andrew seemed to get it. How the hell could a man understand that? Needless to say I nodded.

"Then, there' s you Darien. You try and help her improve her self-sufficiency but you want her to inherently trust you and rely on you. You want to protect her by not sharing everything you know about the terrible world out there and you don't understand her hesitation. You hate that she seems to be trusting one moment then suspicious the next? Of course, you make some assumptions and forget that she's not like Mina or Raye, she is far more innocent to the world than they are. Right?" Darien simply nodded.

"What we have here kids is a communication problem. Darien be more open, Serena, talk more about your insecurities and remember he's only a man. He has flaws." Andrew smiled and crossed his arms. "So… do I get a bed now?" He looked hopefully between Darien and myself.


	9. Entry 8- November 28, 2111

Okay, so, another chapter. I know it's been a while. I've been doing school stuff. I do have a midterm in my class this evening so I went ahead an wrote this all for you. I'm hoping you like it.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I know I haven't responded individually and I'm sorry for that. I do appreciate every review and each one makes me smile. Reviews motivate me to keep writing so, keep reviewing!

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Entry 8- November 28, 2111

After Andrew's little pep talk I felt a little closer to the both of them. While Darien and I had our quips about one another, Andrew got it. He could moderate us if need be. Something about Andrew made me trust him completely. He'd known about me for a long time and hadn't ratted me out. He told Mina about me because they could help me. Andrew just seemed to know me. I found myself awake very early this morning. And Andrew was on the couch so I woke him. He looked at me with shock then smiled and sat up.

"Eck! What time is it?" He blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Something tells me it's too early."

"What's too early to you?" I smiled and sat on the couch next to his feet. He sighed and put his feet on my lap. "Any time before I wake up myself." He winked at me and flexed his feet. He then looked at the wiggling items and frowned. "Do my toe nails look dirty to you?"

I looked down at his nails and pursed my lips together as I was greeted with nails covered in dirt. In fact, his feet were filthy in general. "Ewww! Get off of me!" I squealed and tried to shove his feet away without touching them.

"No!" He lifted one towards my face and wiggled his toes. "Hehe! I totally forgot how grossed out you girls get!" He laughed then jumped up and started poking at my sides. I started laughing then flipped him onto the couch and sat on his torso trapping his arms much like I did that night to the bum.

Andrew used the leverage of the back of the couch to flip us over so I was beneath him on the ground. Just as he did this the door to Darien's room opened and I'll admit. I froze with just a bit of fear. Just as I expected Darien's midnight depths focused on us and darkened a bit.

"Did you know she's ticklish." Andrew asked.

"No, I'll admit I didn't bother tickling her." Darien's tone was a warning one. I knew that tone far too well.

"Well, there's some of your problem, no foreplay!" Andrew laughed then looked down at me. "I'll go wash my feet. Wimp."

As soon as Andrew was out of the room Darien walked quickly to me and pulled me off the floor. "Enjoy that did you?" He shot and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I did actually. Problem?" I asked carefully. I didn't know what he was thinking but something told me that something was about to happen.

"He's going out today. I'm going to sit in the dumpster and wait for him to come back. You and Luna will be in here on your lonesome. "When he gets back, I'm going to go to the compound and check on the gang."

"Don't." I grabbed his arm. "Malachite told you he'd radio you."

"He's taken too long. I'm just going to do a visual check of the compound and try to make radio contact. I'm worried." I knew as much based on the dark circles under his eyes. He'd been losing sleep lately. "If something goes wrong you have Andrew. Seems like you two are getting on well." There was something in his eyes then, a sadness.

"I suppose, but, you're coming back. I know it." I added.

"You don't know that. If I don't come back I don't want either of you following me. Understand me?" Darien added and migrated closer to me. My mind started to race and my eyes dropped to his jaw. Damn it! I looked back up and saw a smile behind his eyes. "Looks like I haven't lost you after all." He grinned.

"No, not yet. If you don't come back, I'm coming after you." I smiled and moved a bit closer to him. We were so close together. It had been a month since we'd been together and I couldn't help but hope that perhaps he'd be back soon so we could revisit that experience.

"Should I go back into the bathroom for a while?" Andrew cut in. "I mean, do you two need time?" I stepped away from Darien with a slight blush.

"You're leaving right? We'll have plenty of time while you're out." Darien laughed which made Andrew dangerously serious. It was the most concerning face I've seen on the blonde man.

"We both know that's a bad idea." Andrew almost growled his sentence out. "You have to be here to protect not advertise."

"I don't need to be reminded." Darien sobered his attitude and suddenly I felt like once again, I was in the dark. I huffed a bit and sat on the couch. "Well, Serena, Andrew will already smell like you. That's why I'm staking out the doorway. If I smelt overly much like… you then we would have quite a bit of trouble. I don't want to call too much attention to us. Especially because of the timing."

"Timing?" I tried to clarify. Andrew seemed to get a little skittish and blushed a bit. "What, what am I missing?"

"The timing related to your hormone cycle. I know you don't think we pay attention but we have to. If any dogs are going to pick you up it's going to be now." Darien explained and it was my time to blush. I had no idea the boys were watching my menstrual cycle so closely. It was something I had never taken stock of.

"You have to understand Serena. Even without a dog I knew when you were at this time of month." Andrew explained. "I would time it out and spray deer musk around the place. I covered you for a while until I told Mina about you. As much as I was doing to help I couldn't do it alone. That's when they started tailing you."

"How did you know though? I don't understand." I felt completely lost.

"Well, things have gotten a bit primitive out there in case you haven't noticed. Instincts have taken over. I'm not one to just jump on impulse but most others are. Men can just tell when you ladies are at that point, sort of like a cat in heat, we just know." At this explanation I was shocked. So, my rubbing alcohol wasn't what lent me freedom. It was Andrew. All the time I spent washing and soaking in rubbing alcohol meant nothing.

"Wow… I had no idea. That's… revealing." I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered a bit. Well, I'm just going to… sit here." I stayed on the couch and deflated a bit. I thought I had been very good at hiding at least a little, but apparently not. In addition, this was embarrassing!

"Look, this has been a fun conversation but I really need to get going if I'm going to be back in time for you to head out Darien." Andrew sighed and walked back into the bathroom. He spent some time in there while Darien simply stared at me with apathy behind his eyes.

As we stood there my mind wandered back to his demeanor just a few moments ago. "Hey, were you jealous of Andrew tickling me?" I asked suddenly. I was hoping to catch him off guard but that damn man! He simply smiled a bit.

"Jealous? No. I was simply concerned with him getting your scent all over him before he left. I've kept a bit of distance so I don't have to worry as much." He then paused and shook his head. "Jealous. Why would you ever think I would be jealous?"

"Your tone and the look you had on your face." I chuckled a bit. He was jealous, I just knew it.

"No, maybe women get jealous, it's a natural defense, men on the other hand, we get violent. If I felt threatened by Andrew sexually, I'd likely rip him apart." The smile on Darien's face was a scary and stark contrast to the darkness in his eyes. He meant what he was saying. Had we as a species really become so uncivilized that even a man well versed in social interaction and decency would kill another man for the sake of posterity? The thought concerned me. Then again, I was reminded of my first worries concerning Darien. He was dangerous. Very dangerous.

"Okay! Well, out I go." Andrew came out of the bathroom and paused. "Why do I get the feeling a conversation partially about me came up?"

"Serena's just wondering how domesticated we men are." Darien provided without a beat and walked towards the door. Andrew glanced at me then followed Darien's lead.

"Well, I'm far more domesticated than you." Andrew provided with a smile. "And more cheerful."

"That's because you're more effeminate than I am." Darien chuckled and opened the door. Andrew laughed and in a moment the door was closed and I was alone with Luna.

The black fuzzball had been indifferent to the matter and jumped up on the couch. I'm not sure if she wanted attention or simply to comfort me. With a sigh I picked her up and cradled her in my arms while rubbing her ears. "They're just animals aren't they? Just because you give it a bath, trim its coat, and teach it some manners doesn't mean it's not an animal." Luna purred her agreement to my statement. It made me smile to see her so happy with so little. Looked at the door, simply knowing Darien was on the other side made me happy but then again, him not being inside reminded me of how alone I had been. Since dad died, I've been alone. Truly alone. I know that Darien is impressed with my social skills, I shouldn't be as reasonable as I am. I should be bat shit crazy by now.

I sighed and lay down on the couch, still holding Luna. We cuddled together and soon I found myself dozing off. It happens when it's quiet and your bored. I awoke when the door opened and Andrew began carrying stuff in.

"Wait until you see what I brought back!" Andrew exclaimed. "Don't tell Mr. Grumps though." He winked and set down a big box. "I have to stand guard outside for a little while to be sure I wasn't followed and Darien doesn't provide a track back but when I come back in. I'm setting this stuff up." He then pivoted and walked out the door closing it behind him.

The box in front of me was sturdy, it looked heavy too. Curious about the contents I opened it and stared at the items inside. One was a large black plastic thing. It looked like some sort of picture frame with a blank black painting in it. It had a stand it sat on and I wondered what it's use was. Further exploration of the box revealed a power cord. The black painting plugged into the power outlet. Also in the box was a machine that looked like a music player. There were music disks in the box as well except they had more pictures on the cases. I read the album titles with curiosity: The Secret Garden, Anne of Green Gables, Beauty and the Beast, Boondock Saints, Men in Black, so on and so forth. These were strange cases and titles for music albums but then again, what did I know. My dad only liked a few groups and he explained they were considered outdated when he was a kid. Maybe these were newer groups.

The box did make me anxious for Andrew to come back inside. I took the machine out of the box and the disks but didn't lift the painting. I figured Andrew would do that. I waited for two hours before Andrew opened the door and stepped in. Flipping the lock closed he sighed and slapped his hands together. "Okay, here we go!" He giddily jumped towards the box and removed the painting. He moved a few things around so the painting was sitting on a table against the wall opposite the couch. He puttered around a little more, seemingly connecting the painting to the machine. He then turned towards me and smiled. "Do you know what this is?"

I shook my head no and waited for him to continue. "This is what they call a television." He smiled as the term sparked recognition in me. I had heard of televisions. Dad had once explained to me that a television was like watching a book. There were moving pictures, like real life, that told stories on the television.

"I got this from a guy who was hoping I could use it. I couldn't get it to work with my system but your electrical system is wired right. I'm really excited, I've never seen a movie or anything. So, what should we watch first?"

"I don't know. Something interesting. Something real, not made up." I asked excitedly. Finally, I had a chance to see the world as it was, before the war, before the destruction. When trees were alive and grass was abundant. When the skies were blue instead of the stark white it is now.

"Well, I think they're all made up stories but something that is as close to real life as possible coming up." He read the back of the cases and frowned. "Something closer to the war or further back?"

"Something closer, I want to understand what it was like just before the war. We can go back as we go along." I leaned forward excited. I couldn't believe I was that excited.

"Okay, let's try Meet the Parents. That looks good. It's a man wanting to marry a woman and he goes to meet her parents. Should be interesting." Andrew opened the machine and put the disk in. He then grabbed a plastic bar with buttons on it and pushed on. The television suddenly jumped to life and a picture appeared with options on it. Andrew selected play after some time of wrestling with the plastic bar. Then the movie started. We were mesmerized by the television and the story unfolding in front of us. There were humorous moments in it but what I was surprised about was the beauty of the world and the civilized nature of the people in the story. The world was everything I dreamed it would be. It was beautiful and gentle. The main character's fear of Jack Burns was trivial in my opinion. I had seen far more dangerous people than Jack Burns.

After the movie was over Andrew and I sat there staring at the television. I was feeling a little deprived but I was also excited to watch another. "Wow, the world was sure different wasn't it?" Andrew asked and sank back into the couch. "Can you imagine living in a world like that? Everything was so beautiful."

I nodded and sighed. What I wouldn't give to live in a world like that. Jack Burns and his wife were old, very old. I had never seen people that old, the world used to be safe enough that people could live, unafraid, until they were very old. There were also children in movie. I had never seen a child in my lifetime. Very few survived in this world because few mothers survive to care for their children.

Maybe the world could become like that again. Maybe that's what Darien was trying to create within the compound. I turned towards Andrew. "Another please?" The excitement was gone from the room but we were still interested in the movies.

"This one should be good too. It says it's based on a true story." Andrew said and put in another movie. This one was called the Blind Side. The main character of the movie shocked me. His skin was the darkest I had ever seen. I had seen many tanned people but none were as tan as this boy. There were others in the movie just as tan. I was also shocked by the wealth of the family that took the boy into their home. He had very little, much like everyone in my world, and that family had more and shared it with him. It was beautiful and inspiring. I was once again mesmerized.

It then occurred to me, after the movie, that Darien was like the wealthy family. He was searching for people with skills and providing them with something more than what they had on their own. He was trying to make the world a better place.

I looked at the clock on the wall. I don't think it was accurate but it did measure the passing of time. I then jumped up from the couch with alarm. Darien had been gone for five hours! That was far too long! "Andrew, he's not back yet!" I cried and rushed to the door. I peeked outside and confirmed my suspicion. It was dark outside. Very dark. He wouldn't venture through the barren wasteland that was outside in the dark. We'd have to wait until morning until we could go after him.

"Regardless, we're not leaving." Andrew crossed his arms and stood. "He expressly told me to not let you go after him. I'm a little more concerned about you than I am him."

"But he could be in trouble!" I shouted. "You can't stop me either!" I added and marched to the door. "I'll go right now even."

Andrew grabbed me from behind, trapping my arms against me. "You can't do that. Serena, be reasonable." He sighed then released me. Turning me towards him he pulled me into a hug. "He's fine. Remember. He's a dangerous bastard. Come on, bed time, and just so you don't get any ideas of sneaking out, I'm bunking with you."


	10. Entry 9- November 29, 2111

Finally, a moment you've been waiting for. Along with a moment you maybe expected. Romance, blood, violence, humor... how do I do it?! I'm amazing that's how. I'm joking. This chapter is packed full of goodies that I think you will enjoy. The next chapter will be really short so I am debating on posting it tomorrow or waiting until entry 11 is done. I'm not sure. Let me know okay? Put it in your **REVIEW!** Thank you and Enjoy!

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Entry 9- November 29, 2111

I woke with a start, groggily I registered the fact that I was being held down by something and when I investigate further I found Andrew's arm and leg sprawled over me. I turned enough so I could see his face and held back a laugh. He was sleeping with his mouth wide open and drool was all over his mouth and the pillow under him. Did I mention he was snoring?

I wiggled a bit away from him in order to get up only to have him suddenly pull me towards him with his arm and leg. I groaned a bit as my face was immediately covered with his drool and my body was seemingly crushed against him. This wouldn't do and I'd have to wake him. "Andrew!" I snapped and he started awake, his arm immediately flying away from me.

"Mhuh?" He snorted and inhaled sharply. "What?" His green eyes groggily searched the room. "Ugh! Did you drool on me?" He wiped his face with his hand and looked at me like I was the one to violate his space.

"No genius, you drooled on yourself, and me." I rose an eyebrow at him. He seemed to accept the theory then flopped his arm back over me. "Yeah, this is how I woke up too. You man-handling me."

"Well, I'm a man, that's what we do." He retorted with a smile and hugged me tightly. "You're like a squishy pillow!"

"I am not!" I cried with a slight laugh then sobered as I felt his lower half press against me in a not-so innocent fashion. "Andrew let me go." I growled. He immediately complied, his arm and leg flying away from me.

"Sorry, I didn't authorize that!" He groaned unhappily. "They have a mind of their own. Don't hate me for it." He asked with the most pleading face he could muster. He must have seen the suspicion in my eyes because he sighed. "Hey, I know you have something going on with Darien. It doesn't matter what it is, I know that man would kill me for even touching you intimately. That's why the front door is locked. If he found me in the same bed as you… I don't want to think about it. Needless to say, I'm not going to do anything to you." He reassured me and I relaxed a bit. He was right, of course he was right. "If you wanted to jump me though, well, I just couldn't bring myself to stop you." He added with a grin and nudged me with his elbow.

I got out of the bed and stretched a bit. Eliciting a groan from Andrew. I ignored it. Any issues he was having with his lower half was his problem, not mine. Well, so long as he didn't make them my problem. With amusement I glanced at him to see him lying on his back clutching the sheets of the bed. The fabric of the shorts he was wearing tented speaking of the difficult time he was having. I did feel a bit sorry for him.

And just like that a tingle traveled down my spine and rested in my lower regions. I reminded myself that the reactions both of us were having were a response to my hormones. They were right; I was like a cat in heat. I did want to "jump" him as he had put it. I could feel my skin warming up and my blood beginning to flow to places I didn't want it to. Andrew had put it well, I was not authorizing this.

Darien wasn't back yet, the door was locked, it's not like he would know if Andrew and I did go the distance. It would solve the problem we were both having, that's for sure. "What are you thinking?" Andrew's worried voice drew my attention. "You're looking at me like a cat would look at string."

"Oh, I was just thinking. What Darien doesn't know won't hurt him right?" I asked and moved towards Andrew a little. His eyes widened.

"He'll know. Believe me, he will. Whatever you're thinking, you're not thinking it clearly." Andrew reasoned. I could tell he had sobered significantly. He pulled the blankets over him and sat up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean… shit. This is bad." He muttered to himself.

"I thought you said you wouldn't stop me?" I smiled and crawled over the bed to him. In my head I couldn't believe I was doing this. I didn't want this!

"I said I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to. You don't really want to, you're not thinking straight, I just said that." He clutched the blankets to him tighter. "Serena, stop. Now, before you do something we will both regret."

"We won't regret it." I smirked and straddled him and the blankets he had desperately tried to use as a shield against me. I had interrogated Darien like this and if it worked on him, it would work on Andrew easily. "We're friends right? We both have a problem, let's help each other." I whispered and leaned forward to give Andrew a reassuring kiss. He turned his head to the side and grabbed my shoulders in protest. I smirked. He wasn't protesting too much.

"Serena…" He breathed and pushed on my shoulders, I let them fall back but kept my chest forward, the result caused my back to arch a bit and stick my breasts forward. He inhaled sharply.

"How long has it been for you Andrew?" I could not believe the words flowing from my mouth! I was acting like a regular prostitute! I had to stop, I knew I did, but my heart was racing and my blood was boiling. I needed this.

"Not long enough apparently." He muttered. I pushed forward, his arms weakening and providing little resistance. I latched my mouth onto his neck and kissed him. The response I got pleased me and I kissed him again. "Stop." He pleaded.

I moved my hips a little to silence him and grabbed his hands with my own. He was like a rag doll now, no longer resisting me but still unwilling to cooperate. I pursed my lips together and placed one of his hands on my rear end and the other on my chest. That had to do something right? Nothing. "Come on Andrew, I know you want me."

"No shit I want you!" He snapped at me anxiously. "I want you so badly it'll make your nose bleed." He ground out. "I just can't. "

"You can. I'm not stopping you." I cooed. I almost had him.

"No, you're not, and we both know this is a bad idea." He insisted.

I silenced him with a firm kiss on the lips. My tongue fought to gain entry to his mouth. He finally relented and I dove in. His hands tightened on me and he began to return my kisses.

Then, in a move I wasn't expected. He tossed me to the side and bolted for the door. He slammed it behind him trapping me in. I could hear him rummaging around a bit and I went for the door and tried to pull it open. He'd locked it somehow. "Andrew!" I shouted. "Let me out!"

"I can't not until you're over this." He sounded breathy. I thought I heard something like a knock on the front door and I held my breath to hear more.

"What the hell is going on?" I heard Darien's voice boom. "Why did you lock her in there?" There was silence and I'm sure Andrew was explaining his side of the story. "Well, you did the best you could I guess."

I was pressed against the door, waiting for someone to open it. Instead, I heard Darien approach the door. "Tables have turned haven't they?" He asked from the other side. His tone was rather dark. I paled. He was going to leave me in here, suffering like this. "Payback's a bitch isn't it Serena? I can smell you from here." I whimpered and pressed myself into the door. I wanted him, needed him. Just knowing he was near sent electricity traveling through me. Andrew had been right. I didn't want him, I wanted Darien.

"Get in here!" I shouted and heard him laugh. "Please!" I asked hopefully but knew by the silence he wasn't going to do any such thing. "I'll remember this!" I screamed. I was really being unreasonable, I know I was, I admit it.

"So will I." Darien chuckled and I could tell he stepped away from the door. I hated this! What was wrong with me? I had lost complete control of myself, not to mention, I allowed myself to be locked in my own room! This is ridiculous!

I sat on the bed, stewing, simply staring at the door. Willing Darien to come in here. As I waited, my desperation seemed to dwindle and I began to feel resentment towards the men in my home. Andrew and I had been having so much fun together then he just had to sleep in my bed. He started this. Then, I was worried about Darien, I had wanted to go out and look for him. Now he repays me like this? I crossed my arms indignantly. I stewed some more. My feelings were hurt, I gave so much to those two and they go and turn me into this. Some sort of… hormone monster.

As I became increasingly depressed with my situation, I realized I was rather hungry. Looking at the clock I had in my room revealed that I had been sitting in here for four hours. I needed food, and the bathroom. I stood and walked to the door. I felt silly doing it but I knocked. "Darien? Andrew?"

"Yes Serena?" Darien responded. He had a serious tone to him, perhaps he was concerned about me?

"I'm hungry, and I need the bathroom." I stated as plainly as I could manage. I was beginning to get hot again simply knowing he was right there. "Please?"

"Well, you've been silent for a while. Feel better?" He was still serious sounding but then again, I never knew with him.

"For now." I admitted honestly. I stood there, wondering if he was going to do anything and finally, I heard some rummaging. The door then opened revealing Darien. He looked just as beautiful as the first time I set my eyes on him.

"Then you should hurry." He smiled and walked towards the kitchen area. "I'll throw something together for you while you do your bathroom stuff."

I looked at Andrew who was sitting on the couch. He seemed to sink into the couch a little more and pulled a pillow over his lower half. "Smartass! You started it you know!" I snapped at him somewhat bitterly. He seemed to miss my tone and smiled. "Won't happen again, believe me. You had your one chance and it's gone for good." I added and jabbed my finger towards him before I marched to the bathroom. I avoided Darien's gaze. I knew he was watching me; watching me so closely I could feel my blood boiling and pooling again.

I went into the bathroom and pressed the lock in. I looked in the mirror and looking back at me was a very flushed, and overly attractive me. I groaned a bit knowing that I had to go out there and eat something while sitting right next to the object of my desires. With that in mind I quickly did my business, washed my hands, and went out to the living area. Darien set three plates on the table with a simple meal and sat in one of the chairs. I sat opposite him to try and put a little distance between us. Andrew approached the table like an animal that could be spooked at any moment and sat.

Darien smiled and set a little dish onto the table with food for Luna and she jumped up. With the four of us sitting at the table we began to eat. I focused on my food and honestly, I'd never heard such deafening silence in my life. Andrew seemed to be rushing through his food and stood up.

"I'm done!" He stated. "Boy, I could use some fresh air, I'll tell you! I think I'll go outside." He began to leave the table and I caught his arm gently.

"Hey, wait. I'm sorry it got so weird this morning. It won't happen again okay? So, forgive me so we can go back to normal?" I pleaded with him.

"You're forgiven, no problem at all Serena. Doesn't change the fact that I want to go outside. Maybe we can watch another movie later?" He asked hopefully. I got the sense that he was trying to escape something.

"Oh, yeah, sounds good." I released him and he hurried to the door. Opening it he sighed.

"Look at that white sky! Just what I need. I'll be back in after a while." And with that he shut the door.

"I completely ruined our friendship." I said sadly and looked at Darien for confirmation. He simply smirked.

"I doubt it. Andrew has the negative memory of a millisecond. You two will be wrestling and shoving feet in each other's face by this afternoon." Darien stated plainly. "You'll see."

"Yeah right. Did you see how he just acted? It's like I'm radioactive or something." I muttered and stabbed a fork into a piece of zuccinni. "He's just going to avoid me."

"Well, you are sort of radioactive. If you don't mind my saying so, you need a bath." He offered as genteelly as he could manage. So, that was it? I stank? Andrew was avoiding my stink? That thought was embarrassing!

I nodded to hide my shock. I couldn't believe this. What was my life coming to when I had to have someone else remind me that I needed a bath. I frowned. Wait, a bath? Showers were much more efficient. "Why a bath?"

"I was out so long because I was gathering some things. Amy concocted a sort of bath soak for women that will mask the scent of your hormones. Doesn't smell bad either. Of course, it doesn't take care of the pheromones you put out, but it does help. We'll be safer if you do it." He added and took another bit from his plate.

I finished my food and stood. "Where is this stuff?" I asked and looked around.

"In the pan on the oven. I had to make it because I didn't go into the compound. Jed was outside and gave me the breakdown of events." He explained. "I'll tell you in a while." He offered as I stood waiting for his news. "Just go and take care of yourself."

I nodded and got the pan. "How much?" I asked and looked at how full the pan was. Surely I didn't use all of it.

"A fourth of a cup." He stated without a beat. I wanted him to turn and look at me, to have a spark of longing in his eyes. Maybe he had lost his feelings for me. I felt a lump in my throat and quickly got what I needed out of the pan. I didn't want him to see me upset. I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door. As the water pooled into the tub I silently let tears fall from my face. I had messed up with both men. Andrew was afraid of me now, and Darien simply tolerated me now.

I put the mixture in the water and got in. Allowing the hot steam to relax me. I would be okay. I didn't need them. Really, one battle with myself over sex was all I would have. As long as the boys didn't get excited around me I would be fine.

I closed my eyes and sank my ears into the water. I was completely relaxed, just me underwater, without the worries of the world. I simply sat there, reveling in my personal heaven when I felt something change. I can't really describe it. It's like the static in the air changes. Then I smelled a familiar smell and my eyes shot open. I sat up with concern. Something was wrong. "What?" I asked the man who was kneeling beside the tub. "What's wrong?"

He didn't say a word, instead he pulled me into a kiss. My upper half was crushed against his getting his shirt wet. I didn't really care though. His shirt was on the floor in a few moments along with the rest of this clothing. I didn't notice until he slipped into the tub with me and pulled me to him.

Just like that I had my answer of how Darien felt about me. We were something so much more than friends. The way he kissed me and moved within me told me so. This was someone who was dedicated to me, who would protect and care for me no matter what. He may act aloof sometimes for the sake of manners and civility but underneath, he was just as wanton as me.

As the water drained and I stood there while Darien wrapped a towel around me I knew why Andrew had rushed out. He didn't want to witness any part of what had just happened. I smiled and wrapped my arms around Darien tightly. "I love you." I whispered into his chest as he stroked my hair and held me.

"I love you too Serena. Now, why don't you get dressed so we can tell Andrew it's safe to come inside?" I nodded my response and pulled away from him.

"I think it's time Andrew got his own bed, don't you?" I smiled at Darien and it was his turn to nod. I felt giddy inside, and a hell of a lot better. I didn't feel like a slave to my hormones. Likely because Darien literally drove them out of me.

Darien followed me to my room and surprisingly helped me dress. I blushed a bit as his hands would linger on my skin, how he would pull me against him and place small kisses on me. Is this how we were going to be from now on? This amorous pair of people caressing and kissing all the time? I didn't mind the thought but then again, it could get in the way.

"Let's go get Andrew before I attack you again." Darien whispered in my ear. I shivered then he inhaled sharply and stepped away. We walked to the front door and were about to open it when Darien stopped. He then pressed his ear to it. I did the same and paled.

"Don't be coy with me. She's close by. Now, where is the girl?" A deep male voice threatened. "Tell me Blondie or some of my men will explain the meaning to the term rip you a new one."

"I don't know where she went off to. She got away from me. I tried to get her but she's tough, and knows how to defend herself. I think she has a guy with her." I could hear Andrew's stressed voice. I looked at Darien. We had to save him! He was out there because of me, because of us, we had to do something.

"Well, we'll find out in a few moments won't we? As soon as they get the dogs here we'll find her. If we don't. You're going to be the entertainment tonight." The threatening voice sounded amused with himself. I looked at Darien for meaning, what were they going to do to Andrew?

Darien clenched his jaw then stepped away from the door. He walked with purpose to my dad's old room and came back with his gun. "I'm sorry. I'm going out there, I don't know how many there are or what sort of weapons they have but you lock this door after me. Don't come out there unless I tell you it's safe. If they kill me, don't come out. You may be trapped in here if that happens." He pulled me into a deep kiss. I could tell he didn't think he would make it.

"There's another way out." I stated as I pulled away from him. My father had told me the other way, but I had never used it. "I'll go with you."

"You're not stepping foot out there." Darien snapped angrily then took a deep breath. "Where is the other exit?"

"Through dad's room. The armoire has a secret door in the back of it. Unlock it, then go into the tunnel. I'll follow you through because there's an outside door that blends into the rocky side of the canyon behind us. Go out, I'll lock that door behind you and then come back and lock the armoire door." I stated. Darien nodded and silently secured the look on the main door. "Take some more guns for Andrew." I added. He nodded and went back into dad's room. He armed himself further and we opened the back panel in the armoire. The tunnel was dark so I grabbed an oil lantern and lit it. Darien went in first and I followed. We moved silently through the unused space, cobwebs clinging to my clothes. I knew there weren't any spiders here anymore. They died off with the bugs long ago.

We finally came to the outer door, it was a thick metal door with metal bars on all sides jutting into the rocks. There was a wheel to turn to pull the bars in. Darien quickly turned it and stepped out. I pulled the door shut and locked it then retraced my steps. I shut the armoire panel and rushed out to the main door to listen.

"I'm getting impatient! Where are those fucking dogs? There's a girl around here somewhere and if I don't get her soon I'm going to be very pissed off." The threatening voice boomed. I could tell he was in the dumpster now, likely getting out of the sun. I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't realize what the dumpster was. Simply a façade to hide the main door.

I heard the sound of Darien's gun, a series of six shots. Then five more. Then three. "Hey, ugly! Unhand my friend and no one else gets shot." Darien's voice was a relief.

"Well, well, well. The protector comes out of hiding. We're that close are we?" The stranger drawled amusedly.

"Close to what?" Darien played dumb. "Let my friend go or I'll shoot the rest of you."

"Fine, release him." The man stated and a few moments later I heard Andrew speak.

"They're looking for that girl I ran across. Did you have any luck tracking her?" Andrew spoke inquisitively.

"No, All I know is she went west. Likely to meet up with her guy." Darien was playing the part well. I could hear the stranger snicker.

"Care to join us? We have some openings now. I don't mean to brag but we do tend to find the purest of girls. Not like those brothel whores. We find them girls that are hardly used, if at all." I could hear the grin in his voice. "Surely the likes of Darien Shields understands our plight." I paled at hearing Darien's name. This man knew who he was, therefore he knew Darien was lying. "I have to ask myself. What is a man doing all the way out here so far from his concrete walls? So far from all the woman he's collected over the years. I ask myself, because I know, he's not telling the truth when he says he can't track a girl. Everyone knows who you are Darien, we know your skills."

"Then you know enough to understand that I want nothing to do with your group." Darien stated. "Leave us alone and I won't kill you all."

"Perhaps, but I also know enough about you to know you've found another girl. One you're a little more invested in then the others you have. I can tell I'm close to her, very close. You wouldn't bring out the guns if I wasn't close to her." He chuckled. "Deny it all you want, I can smell her. I can smell her all over you too Darien. Tell me, how is she?"

"Leave or I will shoot you. Last warning." Darien 's voice was cold and dangerous now.

"I can't win a battle against a gun." The man seemed to sigh. "Unless I have leverage." Suddenly I noticed the lock had been turned. The door was unlocked! He'd been stalling while he got the lock open. I panicked and grabbed Luna then rushed back into my dad's room I went to the armoire and opened the door. Sliding the wooden back into place I then shut the door and cowered. I could hear the front door opening and closing then locking with a definite slam.

"Come out come out wherever you are." I heard him taunt me. I could hear Gun shots and Darien screaming for me to run. I couldn't run, I could hardly move. "Come on Serena. That's your name right?" I could hear the smile, the satisfaction in his voice. "God you smell good. Come out and play Serena. I'll show you how a real man can make you feel." I could hear him moving around, searching for me.

I stayed put. He opened the armoire, and I stepped back a bit. I held Luna to me, desperate for some kind of protection against this man. He was big, I could tell. Bigger in stature than Darien. A true brute of a man. I could hear him grunt and slam the armoire closed. "Get your ass out here woman! I swear to fucking God if you make me find you I'm going to kill you after I'm done with you!" I held still, Luna even more so. I could tell she was ready for battle. She would slice into his face and buy me time to escape if she had to. It brought a tear to my eyes.

"Come out Serena. I'll be nice if you come out, just as nice as he is to you. I promise." The man's voice softened. I could hear him searching around dad's room. Then he moved on to my room, and further away. I moved to the end of the tunnel and listened for Darien and Andrew. I heard footsteps then Darien's voice.

"Serena, please, if you hid in the tunnel, please open this door so I know you're okay." I grabbed the door and turned the handle, the door opened and Darien pulled me to him. Luna purred her relief. "That's my girl." Darien exhaled and let go of me. Andrew pulled me aside and Darien went into the tunnel. The darkness soon enveloped him and in a few moments there was a series of gun shots. Far too many for simply Darien. Then there was silence. I felt my heart drop.

"Andrew…" I breathed. I stepped into the tunnel, pulling Andrew with me. He shut the door behind us, keeping it unlocked just in case. "Darien?" I called fairly quietly. I rushed ahead, Andrew right behind me. I came out of the armoire, no sign of either in the bedroom. "Darien?" I cried and rushed into the living area. Not there either. I turned towards my room and fear filled me. I ran forward, the giant behemoth of a man was dead, but Darien was on the floor bleeding. He'd been shot. "Oh God! Darien!" I threw myself down beside him. "It's okay, It's okay." I repeated to him as he simply looked at me. I pressed on his wound. He'd been shot in the side of the stomach.

"It's not okay." He coughed. "But it was worth it." He smiled.

"Shut up!" I screamed at him. Andrew had back tracked to lock all of the doors. "Where's your radio."

"They won't come." Darien stated and shook his head.

"Fuck they won't! Where is the radio!" I screamed even louder. I the tore into dad's room and into Darien's things. I found the radio and switched it on. "Malachite!" I shouted into it. "Mal, Mina, Lita… Anyone!"

The radio crackled then a voice came on. "Yes?" It was Amy, I could tell by her soft yet concerned tone. "What is it?"

"Darien's been shot. I need help!" I cried desperately.

"Serena, we're in lockdown. I can't just… Where was he shot?" She asked with reserve.

"He's been shot in the torso, on the very right hand side, about two inches in." I relayed. I looked at Darien and put my hand under him to feel the other side of him to see if the bullet went through. "It stopped inside of him." I added.

"I won't get there in time Serena. You have to do something if you're going to save him." Amy admitted and sighed. "What sort of tools to you have there?"

"What do I need?" I asked and looked at Darien. I was sobering up. I had to if I was going to operate on him. I had dismembered people before; I could certainly help Darien through this.


	11. Entry 10- December 4, 2111

You're all so impatient! That's okay. I hope you enjoy this. Just you wait until you see what I have planned. :) It's evil, purely evil. Anywho, **REVIEW!**

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Entry 10- December 4, 2111

I haven't had time to do a journal entry in a few days mainly because I've been too busy. I've managed to keep Darien alive and Andrew got some antibiotics to prevent infection. It's a task to take care of Darien. He can hardly walk, barely move. The pain of the wound is too much for him. Mostly he just stays in bed.

Cleanup has been a chore. Andrew and I got to work composting the attackers and cleaning up my room. There was a lot of blood lost in there and so we were working non-stop for two days to do it all. I know that Darien will be okay but it's concerning to see him this way. He's so weak, and pale. I know it's from the pain, and the loss of blood but I just want him to get better.

He keeps telling me that I shouldn't have saved him. That he is just a burden to us now. I disagree. I couldn't save my father, but I saved Darien. I'm not going to say goodbye to someone I love because it's inconvenient. Besides, he has a sister and lots of friends to return to eventually. I had to save him. He's so much better than most people.

Andrew and I have returned to normal. Well, as normal as we can be with him being traumatized by what we did to those men. When I told him about the composting procedure he thought I was joking. He was wrong. Andrew pretty much cried the whole time we were dismembering those men. I, sadly to say, enjoyed every second of it. Especially the big guy. He'd come after me, hurt Darien, and threatened Andrew. That reminds me. I'll need to ask Andrew what those men were threatening to do to him.

I'm writing in the corner of the room now, I'm hoping Darien doesn't see me because I don't want him to want to read this. Like I said before, there are a lot of things about him in here and I'm not going to share the thoughts with him. He would likely get upset with a lot of it.

Andrew is going out for supplies today. He doesn't seem as tense about it as last week. Maybe it's because we both smell too much like death to worry about anyone picking up my scent.

"Bye Serena, I'm off. Don't forget to lock the door behind me. Both of them." He peeked his head into the room and smiled at me. We had installed another lock on the door. We had found that the man had some sort of lock pick and there was a single, tiny, little hole on the outside of the door that allowed someone to open the lock. It was a safety measure if some nut locked us out of the place. Problem is, if that man could find it, so could others. Therefore, we installed an inside only lock. It wouldn't help with us getting in if there was a nut in here but it helps us with the knowledge that no one will get in if we don't want them to.

I simply nodded at Andrew and he left the room. I glanced at Darien and followed suit so I could lock the door. I did so and returned to Darien. I was having a hard time staying away from him.

"Hey." He spoke softly, his voice laced with pain. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Are you feeling better?" I asked and knelt next to him. "Can I get you anything?"

"I need to get up." He stated regretfully. I nodded. Andrew usually helped him up and supported him. I would have to do for now.

"Okay, let's do it." I folded the blankets away from him. He simply looked at me with disapproval. "Look, Andrew isn't here so it's just me." I crossed my arms. He nodded and began to sit up.

I rushed to help him, looping his arm around me and steadying while he leaned on me to get to his feet. He was certainly heavier than I anticipated. We managed to get him into the bathroom where he needed to go then back to bed. It was a challenge and one I didn't want to repeat. When I get him back to bed I tucked him in.

"Lay with me?" He asked gently which caused me to smile. I lay on the bed on the opposite side of his wound. He put an arm around me and pulled me close. We simply lay there like that, together. "I'm lucky I found you."

"No you're not. You got shot because of me." I stated flatly. He needed to understand that I was a burden on him. "If you hadn't found me, you would not have been hurt."

"You're worth the pain Serena. I couldn't let that man touch you. Not even for a moment. I had to protect you. Besides I have plans for you." He smirked coyly. "Plans I think are in motion."

"What plans are these?" I smiled and kissed his lips chastely. "You've done a fine job of locking me away from the world. What more could you want?"

"More." He smiled and closed his eyes. I could tell he was very content with his thoughts. Whatever they were. I cuddled closer to him and closed my eyes too. "I'm working on healing. I have to get back to protecting you."

"Andrew is here." I offered and opened my eyes a little.

His eyes shot open and focused on me with intent. "Andrew cannot protect you like I can. He doesn't have the drive, instinct, or purpose I do." He then winced and closed his eyes again.

"What do you mean?" I asked I could tell he was falling asleep and I nudged him a bit. "Darien, what do you mean by that?" It was too late though. He was already asleep and I wasn't going to wake him up for something so trivial. He was just meaning that he loves me while Andrew is simply a friend. I got up and went to the living room to wait for Andrew.

It was a while before Andrew returned but I was glad when he did. Being alone with my thoughts is dangerous now. I have too much to lose in my life now. Before it was just Luna and I. Now it's all of us and I'm so afraid of losing Darien. Something had also gotten into me and now I was afraid of getting hurt myself. I had to stay alive and healthy for Darien.

"Your brain is going to blow up if you think too hard." Andrew commented and stepped in front of me. "What's wrong?" He surveyed me then looked towards my room "Darien okay?"

"Yes, Darien is fine. He's still in pain but that's to be expected." I sighed. "Darien is just a little strange. That's all. "Andrew raised an eyebrow and walked towards the bedroom. He sat on the bed and looked at Darien. I decided to stay out of the way and let them talk. Instead, I started eavesdropping.

"Hey bud. I touched bases with one of my friends who's dad used to be a pharmacist. He gave me some pain killers for you. Should help." Andrew held up a bottle and put it on the side table. "So what's going on with you and Serena. I see you've been showing her your weird side." Andrew laughed.

I know Darien responded but I couldn't hear him. Whatever he said Andrew nodded. "I think so too Dare." I knit my brow and tried to hear what was being said. "So get better faster so we can talk about this. I can't go to the compound. They would never accept me in there. Besides, Serena said Amy told her the compound is in lockdown. Amy said Beryl is muttering nonsense. That's all they know. She doesn't appear to be sick but I think we can both agree, they need to get Beryl out." Andrew added seriously. I wanted to know what was being said. I could tell the majority of it was about me. More secrets.

When Andrew emerged he was simply smiling at me. "Want to watch a movie?"

"You were talking about me. What were you talking about?" I asked forcefully and crossed my arms.

"We weren't. Now, movie?" I could tell he was lying but I relented and chose to watch a movie instead. He picked the movie and we did enjoy it. I checked on Darien a few times, retrieving food and water for him. The pain medication seemed to work well for him. He seemed to be better. I only hoped he would have a speedy recovery.


	12. Entry 11- February 15, 2111

Enjoy and **REVIEW!** Another chapter later I promise. I almost posted them out of order... oops.

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Entry 11- February 15, 2111

It has been two and a half months since my last posting and Darien has gotten much better. He can now get up on his own and walk around for short periods of time. He is still in great pain and is still somewhat dependent on Andrew and I. He was more concerned about me than himself which was personally frustrating. My next move was to tell him to cut the crap.

I came into the room and shut the door behind me. He turned and looked at me somewhat amused. "Yes my dearest Serena?"

"What is the matter with you? Why are you so concerned about me? You're the one recovering from a gunshot wound." I snapped at him and crossed my arms. I know I was somewhat unreasonable in my anger.

"Maybe, but I'm not carrying another life in me." His blue eyes challenged me to understand him. His words shocked me. Carrying another life? Me? No. I opened my mouth to question him only to be beaten to the punch. "Serena. Think about it. You haven't had a menstrual cycle in two months and your pants are getting a little tighter. You're more emotional. Above all else, your survival instinct is stronger. I can't tell you how I knew, but I knew the moment it happened. It was amazing then that monster and his goons came for you. I had to protect you. More than I ever had before."

I thought about what he was saying and realized it was true. I was pregnant! Boy, wouldn't my dad be surprised. I sat on the bed and put my hands on my abdomen. This wasn't happening. Couldn't be happening. This was terrible! I couldn't be pregnant! Infants hardly ever survived because they were loud and always alerted people to where you were. We would be in more danger if I had a baby.

"How do we fix this?" I asked sadly. I wanted a baby, I can't explain how but my heart swelled at the idea. My mind was telling me it was bad.

"Fix what?" Darien asked in a concerned tone. "You being pregnant?"

"Yes! I can't do this. We can't have a baby! We can barely survive here as is! They'll find us if we have a baby. You think it was difficult two months ago? Imagine when we have one. We won't be safe." I cried and was pulled into an embrace.

"No one hurts those I love. No one. Serena, we'll be fine. A baby isn't something to fix, it's something to cherish, something to look forward to and experience." He held me tightly.

"How can you know that?" I let tears flow from my eyes. "What do you know of pregnancy and children?" I asked sadly.

"Raye was pregnant once too. She was raped once and out of that came a life. She carried it, thinking it a curse, that Jadeite wouldn't love her if she had it. She worried so much about it, she forgot to revel in the beauty and excitement of it. Jadeite was excited, he wanted it, it didn't matter that it wasn't his. She just didn't see it, couldn't see happiness in it." He sighed and hugged me a little tighter. "She threw herself down the stairs the first time she felt the baby move inside of her. We were all terrified, scared. She lost the baby, and now, she regrets it. She wishes she hadn't done it."

I nodded, understanding her dilemma. It was similar to mine. "The difference is Darien, Raye had all of you, all of your resources. We're trapped here."

"They're in the process of getting Beryl out of there. As soon as she's out we can go there. I thought we might leave Andrew here. He'll keep the place safe and can visit when he wants. What do you say?" Darien hugged me tightly.

"We're going to have a baby. A real baby." I said a little dazed.

"Yeah, now you can't leave me no matter what." Darien grinned. I nodded and stood. I walked to the living room and found an old pregnancy book my mom had. She thought it would be important. She was right. I started to read it. Andrew staring at me inquisitively a few times.

I read all about it. What to expect, what to do, how to change diapers, breast feed. That was a little foreign to me but I would do it as a mother. I paused in my thoughts. I was going to be a mother. I would have a little person to love and love me back. I looked at Luna. Maybe she would enjoy kittens. Artemis was a pretty cat, maybe they could have kittens together.

"So, I suspect that you know now? That man is far too in tune with you." Andrew laughed and sighed. "So, what does the powerful book say?" He sat on the couch next to me.

"Read it yourself and find out." I glanced at him and he scrunched his face up. "What? Can't take it?" He shook his head and I laughed. Andrew was comic relief to my otherwise serious life. He seemed to perk up a bit and look around. He would do it every now and then, almost like he heard a mouse or something.

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?" He asked and looked at me seriously. "I get that feeling all the time. Right now it's particularly strong." I looked around, nothing was out of place, there was only us. I simply shrugged it off. Maybe Andrew was a little strange too. "No really Serena. This time I really have that feeling and it's not going away."

I set my book down and held still. He was right. The feel of the room was different and the hairs on the back of my neck were raised a little bit. "Do you believe in ghosts?" I asked and sat up a little more. "What if those men are haunting us?"

"Where do you get these ideas?" Andrew looked at me oddly. "I've never heard such a concept. What are you talking about. Ghosts?" He asked with a knit brow. I searched my mind. Where had that come from? I'd never read a book like that, my Dad had never said anything like that. Where did the concept come from?

"I don't know. I just, feel like that's possible. That the souls of people can stay and bother you. Haunt you." I blinked and looked towards the composting room. Was it possible? Of course not. If it was I would have been haunted long ago.

As we sat there a knock came at the door. Andrew jumped up and walked to it. "Hey, it's me. Let me in." I could hear Malachite's voice and I nodded. The door was opened and he stepped in with Mina on his heels and Artemis behind her. "Hello. Where's Darien?"

"In my room." I took Mal to my room where he stepped in and looked at Darien. "He should probably get up anyhow." I smiled.

Mal simply looked up at me with a blank face. "Get out." He almost hissed. I looked at Darien and for a brief moment, wondered if I could trust Darien to Mal in his weakened state. "Did you hear me? Get out and shut the door."

"Don't talk to her like that." Darien snapped and looked at Mal angrily. Mal sighed deeply and crossed his arms. "Serena, please excuse us?" I looked at Darien and complied. If he trusted Malachite then I would too. Mina was waiting for me in the living room with a grin.

"Yes, okay, we can breed the cats." I laughed at her. She seemed pleased. She looked like a doll smiling like that. It worried me just a bit. "What."

"Didn't take long to get you pregnant did it?" Mina jumped off the couch. "A baby. I love babies." She smiled like the Cheshire cat.

"You've seen one?" I asked a little concerned with her current behavior. Was Mina crazy or something? Maybe that's why Raye threw herself down the stairs. To keep Mina away from her unborn child.

"Well, I've seen pictures." Mina shrugged. "They're so little. I can't wait for you to have it. I'm going to hold it and squeeze it and love it." She recited. "What will you name it?"

"Mina. Down." Malachite commanded from my doorway. Darien was standing behind him, his eyes concerned. "She gets far too excited about the possibility of infants of any form. When Artemis was little we had to keep her from crushing him."

I looked at Mina and stepped back. She didn't look too happy about Malachite's revealing news. "Look, I love kittens, and babies, and I just want to hold them." She crossed her arms.

"You almost crushed his little body Mina. I remember it very vividly. You don't know when to stop and you're not getting your hands on my child." Darien said firmly and walked to me. He looked much stronger than he had the past two months. "Now, go on your way." Mina looked irritated but left with Malachite nonetheless. "Don't ever let Mina near our child. She will kill it." Darien warned with a dark tone. "She can't help herself. She grabs onto small things and squeezes. She crushed a cat before Artemis. We're always weary of her because of that."

I placed my hands on my slightly swollen belly and felt a weight in my heart. Poor Mina. She just loved something so much, she destroyed it. I looked at Darien for the news. "Well?"

"We're going to the compound. Andrew? Want to stay here or come with us?" Darien asked. Andrew seemed to mull it over. I wanted him to come with us. This place would be fine on it's own. Even if someone else took it over, that would be okay. Some nice woman hopefully.

"I'll travel with you there but I will stay here. Someone has to tend the garden right?" Andrew laughed. "So. When do you leave?" He looked excited to see the compound. It was a sight to behold that was for sure.

"Tomorrow as early as possible. I don't think I'll be able to move too quickly. I'm still recovering from the shot. We'll make it." Darien placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "We'll make it." He paused for a bit then sighed. "Apparently, Beryl found something strange. Some people showing up in settlements far away who seem to be crazy. Some talked about a better world. Beryl went to investigate. They think she lost her mind out there. There's nothing in the water or food. No virus, just some cult belief that is spreading around." Darien shook his head. "They all believe that there are places where the world is what it used to be. Where nothing has changed."

"That's impossible. The war destroyed everything. Only people who retreated underground survived." I shook my head. Those poor people. I would like to believe it. I just knew better.

"I've had dreams like that. As if I live in a normal world. In my dreams I own a place that sells food. Real food. It's a regular building, with windows and power. The outside world is sunny, and water falls from the sky. Rain it's called. My dreams are so real. I have a sister in those dreams. One who is completely infatuated with boys." He smiled, his dreams obviously pleasing him.

I was a bit jealous. The only dreams I seemed to have were of my father dying and my chopping him to pieces. It was disturbing, maybe he was haunting me. Haunting my dreams. Lately my dreams have been about Darien. Nothing as happy as Andrew's dreams though.

"That's strange. I have similar dreams." Darien admitted. "I dream of a world that is normal, before all this. I'm some sort of soldier though. Raye and Jadeite are in those dreams too. We all live together in an apartment. A place that is high in the air, and we can see a city out all the windows. We're happy in those dreams."

"You both suck. All I dream about is death and sadness. Except lately I have been dreaming of living in the compound." I stated simply. The two looked at me and sighed.

"Serena, you've been through some tough times. I would expect you to have nightmares like that." Darien soothed me and put an arm around me. "Just remember, we have a new life coming." He smiled wholly and I felt better. He was right. A new day was approaching. I could feel it.

"So, we're going to the compound tomorrow?" I asked happily.

"Yes Serena. We are." Darien placed a kiss on my forehead.


	13. Entry 12- February 16, 2111

So, lately I've been watching a lot of British shows. I love Dr. Who and I've watched all of the Torchwood series. Some of my language has changed a bit to be a little British but that's okay right? Anywho, I'm discovering that I am absolutely horrified and inspired by Russel T. Davies writing. I have foreshadowed a bit here, I'm hoping not too much but I also hope I scare you just a little bit. Not too much, but a little. If I haven't scared or repulsed you at all then I guess I'm not doing my job as a writer. :) Anywho, I'm hoping you like this chapter even though it is a little short. **REVIEW** if you like it! Heck, even if you don't, let me know that too. It's okay!

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Entry 12- February 16, 2111

I'm shaking as I write this entry so forgive me whoever you are. She wasn't supposed to be here, but she was. They were hauling her through the compound as we came in. Beryl, such a beautiful woman, so stunningly beautiful, but utterly dangerous. She seemed happy to see Darien but the moment her eyes fixed on me she began to struggle against Malachite and Nephrite. She got loose and rushed to me, grabbing my shoulders.

"Run." She instructed before Darien grabbed her. "Run! You're not safe! They're coming for you!" She screamed at me. "Darien, they're coming for her!" She insisted which made him stop.

"What?" He snapped at her. "Who is coming for her?"

"I don't know who they are, they just abduct people. They come, at all hours and take who they want. They're coming for her." Beryl said firmly and looked at me. "I know you all think I'm crazy but I've seen things. I know there's something going on. Darien, please, just listen to what I have to say."

Darien nodded and eyed Mal and Nephrite. They followed Beryl and Darien in to one of the doors of the complex. Andrew and I just stood there in shock. Not wanting to miss a conversation that very much pertained to me, I followed the group. I found Mal and Nephrite standing guard in front of a door. "Please let me by." I asked nicely.

"No." Malachite crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "You may be Darien's little toy but when he's not in the room, I'm in charge little girl. When I'm in charge, you'll do as I say." His grey eyes were very cold and void at the moment.

"I'm going in there." I asserted and stepped forward.

Malachite grabbed my arm and leaned down to hiss at me. "You really want to test me?" I paled at his expression and tone. Malachite seemed so civil around Mina. Alone he was just a big bully.

"Mal, leave her alone." Nephrite demanded then turned towards the door. "I'm going to see if he wants you to be in there. You're shaken already, we'll see if Darien wants to expose you to more of Beryl's rants."

Malachite continued to hold my arm until Nephrite returned. It was only a moment until Nephrite returned. "Go on in. I warn you. Beryl can be… accosting with her personality." He looked at Malachite who released me. As I walked in to the room I heard Nephrite as he addressed Malachite. "You're not in charge anymore. Keep acting like that and we're going to go rounds."

I frowned and turned back to the matter at hand. Beryl and Darien were sitting at a table facing one another. "I'm glad you've joined us. I think it is important for you to understand. What is your name?" Beryl smiled sadly at me.

"My name is Serena." I responded and looked at Darien for any discomfort he was feeling.

"Serena. I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry for the stress I am likely causing you. It's important for you to hear what I have to say, it really is. I have seen people disappear out there. There's really no way to tell who will be taken and when except for pregnant women. Pregnant woman are always taken. That's why you don't see children around. It because they're taken, and once someone is taken, they don't come back. I know I just met you, but I love Darien. It's a one way feeling, I know that. He loves you and for that reason, you're worth protecting." Beryl leaned back in her chair.

"No one will touch her in these walls." Darien asserted.

"Really? Darien, I don't know what this world is, but it's not right. People aren't right. There are decent people out there, very decent people. You are a decent person, Raye and Jed are decent, Serena here is decent but she has a darkness in her eyes. I can see darkness in there. She's done something horrible in her life. Then again, so have you." She sighed and looked at me. "You think everyone here is loyal to you and will not cause anyone harm. That Seiya character is sexually hungry. He's not afraid to take what he wants either. Amara is always suspicious of people. Raye is haunted by the tragedy of her rape, Jadeite is a fighter, like you Darien. He would follow you to the ends of the earth. Malachite is power hungry and waiting for the perfect moment to overthrow you. Mina has murdered innocence. These are only some of the people within these walls. All made better by the constant companionship and leadership you bring to them." Beryl smirked. "Now you've gone and brought in your own woman. Someone you're going to rain attention on. Think of the ramifications. In your absence these people have fallen apart. You can see it in their eyes. You know I'm right."

"Let's say I believe you. What is it that we can do? How can I stop these unknown people from taking Serena?" Darien leaned towards Beryl. He wanted answers, I could tell.

"You can't. You're not the only pocket of civility in this world Darien. I've seen places with so much security it would shock you. People disappear from those places without a trace. Have you ever felt like someone is watching you?" She asked darkly.

"Andrew has. He feels that way all the time. I felt like that the other day." I added to the conversation.

"It's because we are being watched. All of us, being watched like goldfish." Beryl smiled at me. "She's a smart one Darien. Very smart. Do you have nightmares Serena? I do. I have nightmares of doing horrible things. That's the darkness in you. What did you do?" Beryl asked me. It shook me to the core. How could she know I had nightmares?

"What Serena's done is irrelevant." Darien jumped in to protect me.

"It is relevant. I'm trying to understand why she will be taken. I know that people who are taken have done terrible things." Beryl shrugged.

"You said she would be taken because she's pregnant. I don't believe that. Raye wasn't taken." Darien crossed his arms.

"Raye knew it was coming. That's why she threw herself down those stairs. She knew they were coming for her. So she did the only thing she could think of. She murdered her unborn child to stay here with her brother and boyfriend." The words Beryl were speaking made sense to me. Could that really be what happened? Did Raye really kill her own child to stay with Darien and Jed? The idea was horrifying and terrible.

"You have no idea what happened Beryl." Darien snapped. She shrugged and looked at me with sincerity.

"Maybe not. I do know that there's something else happening around here. If I had to guess, I would say that most of you in this place are slated for abduction. From what I've seen, the more civilized a group is the greater the change they are abducted. That's all I know." Beryl crossed her arms. "You'll see."

"If anyone steps foot in here I will kill them. No one is going to harm my friends." Darien resolved. I was shaken. How could anyone get in here and take me away? Who would want to?

"You didn't answer me Serena. Do you have nightmares?" Beryl asked again. Darien frowned and stood up as if to end the conversation. I simply nodded and Beryl smiled. It wasn't an evil smile, but a sad one. It was as if she knew something more about my nightmares.

"That's enough." Darien growled. "Come Serena, let's get you settled." He began to usher me out, Beryl's brown eyes followed us then she shook her head and stood.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to pay for what you've done again." She called out to us. I avoided Darien and stepped past him towards her. I wanted answers damn it! I had so many questions!

"What does that mean?" I asked her desperately. I knew Darien would be after me again, he would drag me out if he had to.

"I don't know what you've done. I suppose you'll soon learn. Your time is almost to a close here. I envy you. You won the man I wanted, you'll leave this place. Then I hope your past will haunt you. I may want to help you, but I also revel in the idea that you will suffer for your victories." She then crossed her arms and sat. "I know the type of woman I am. I am vengeful. My nightmares have told me what I did." Her eyes fixed on me again. "Yours will too."

With that Darien drug me out of the room. He grip firm on me but did not hurt. I was shaken. I am still shaken. Beryl was wise in some sort of witchy way, but then again, she was absolutely mad! I knew what I had done. I had been forced to turn my own father into fertilizer. He'd died all on his own but the nightmares were of what came next. I'd cried through every moment of it. It was horrific.

"She's crazy Serena. Don't listen to her. I should have never let you in that room. For God's sake you're shaking." He paused and pulled me into a hug. "She's a monster."

"She's a basket case alright." Jed suddenly appeared in front of us. "She's rattled everyone's cage around here. Everyone is sulking around, watching everyone else; it's like she wants us to turn on one another." Jed sneered towards the area Beryl was in. "The scary thing, is that Raye's doing it again." He turned back to Darien with purpose.

Darien's arms loosened around me as he and Jed exchanged unspoken words. He then released me and rushed down the corridor presumably towards his sister. I looked at Jed with confusion. He sighed then told me the meaning of his statement. "Raye has the gift of sight. She's always been able to see things, things that will happen. She's having premonitions again." He offered me his arm and I threaded my arm through it. I'm not sure why I did it. I had never seen such a thing done before but it seemed like that was what I was supposed to do. He seemed to pause then looked down at my arm. "Serena, do you ever do things that you can't seem to place? Like just now. What is it that we're doing?"

"I don't know. You offered your arm, for some reason, I feel like you're offering to take me somewhere." I spoke softly to him then pulled my arm from him. Even now, as I write this page I'm wondering what I'm doing. At the beginning I wrote Dear Diary. What is a diary? Why am I writing this down? Any of this? Who am I writing this for? I don't want anyone to read it, these are my thoughts, an account of how I perceive my world. Why do I need this damned book if I can just think this to myself? It's maddening! There are things in my life, that I can't explain. Perhaps it's some sort of instinct, then again, instinct doesn't teach you to read or write. Doesn't teach you about diaries or keeping records. Society teaches that sort of thing. I don't recall my father teaching me any of this. Perhaps my mother?

I'm trying to focus on her. Why can't I remember her? She died two years ago, how? I don't know! Where did she go? I have no idea! There are so many holes in my memory. I don't remember my grandparents, I don't remember anything really before this damned book! I mean, I don't remember day to day things. What the hell is the matter with me? Beryl was right, something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Why didn't I see it before? More importantly, why hasn't anyone else noticed?


	14. Entry 13- February 22, 2111

So, some of you saw this coming. Or at least I hope you did. Well, maybe not all the details but I hope you sort of had an idea. From here we deal with Serena adjusting. There are so many things I can touch on with this. I'm hoping you enjoy it and **REVIEW!**

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Entry 13- February 22, 2111

I had woken in the dead of night with a dreaded feeling. I cannot explain to you the amount of fear I had running through me. Though I want to stop writing this blasted thing I just can't. I have to continue because maybe, just maybe. This is important somehow. So, back to the dead of the night. I could feel Darien next to me, lying in bed, in the darkness but that wasn't the only thing I could feel. I felt as though there was someone in the room with us. Well, more than someone. There were people, surrounding us. I don't know how I knew, I just did. This was it. This was the moment Beryl had warned about. They were here to take me. Carefully, I sat up, grabbed this book, and slid off the bed. "So, it's time?" I whispered into the darkness.

"Yes." A male voice responded. "Please, follow me." He requested. I knew I couldn't resist. To resist was pointless. I felt a hand encase mine and lead me towards the door. When we were out of the room a light was shown on my face blinding me. The man in front of me seemed to be examining me, then he took the light away from my face and spoke to no one in particular. "She's cooperating. Good luck with him."

I paled as I realized that all the other people in the room were there to get Darien. I panicked. "What are you going to do to him?" I cried a little louder than I wanted to. The man suddenly yanked me to him and covered my mouth. I struggled a bit, the taste of his leather gloves flooding my mouth.

"He will not be as easy as you to contain. We will not hurt him. Now, come." He demanded and released me. "I would rather not subdue you." He added then offered his hand again. I couldn't see his face, he had some sort of glass helmet on. "Come." I let him take my hand again and be began to lead me through the complex. I could hear a struggle in Darien's room. He was shouting for me, calling my name wildly and then there was silence. I was terrified by that silence. He then burst out of the room, I knew it was him by the thundering that followed him. The man who was with me switched off his light encasing us in darkness again then I heard the click of a gun being cocked. "Mr. Shields, cease and desist." He demanded. I looked at him with confusion. I had heard those words in movies Andrew and I had seen. What did this man think he was doing.

"Then return her and I won't kill you." Darien growled. I felt my stomach drop. Had he killed the other people in the room.

"Haven't you killed enough people Mr. Shields? Now, freeze and I will not subdue you. Let my men escort you to our rendezvous point." I heard Darien's footsteps halt.

"Military unit? But… what, who, how?" I heard confusion in Darien's voice.

"I understand you are confused Sir, but trust me and no one will be harmed. We have been sent to evacuate this complex. You two are the last. Please, do not be difficult." The man ordered and I heard Darien sigh. I sure as hell was confused. So was Darien, obviously.

"Fine." Darien conceded and walked to us. He took my hand and squeezed tightly. "Lead on." He ordered and the man flipped his light on again. We were lead outside and into the dead of night. There was no light other than the one the man had.

"I regret to tell you, but I will have to blindfold you both. Do I have your permissions?" He asked and held up two blind folds. Darien squeezed my hand then nodded. The blindfolds were put into place and Darien and I were lead across the barren land. I could hear movement, like marching, lots of footsteps rushing around us then we were each loaded up onto something. I was terrified and clutched Darien's hand. We were then seated in bench-like chairs and straps were put across our shoulders and laps. A door was then shut and I could hear mechanical clicking noises. A high pitched whirling began and I felt like I was being lifted but I hadn't moved from my position. What was happening, where were we being taken? What was going to happen to us?

It seemed like an eternity before I felt like I was being lowered again. The whirling stopped and we were unloaded from whatever machine we were in. Darien was quiet, too quiet in my opinion. We were taken across what seemed like a concrete floor then into a shelter of some sort. Down corridors then into a room. Our blindfolds were removed and we were in a room with everyone else from the compound. I turned and saw men in some sort of uniforms. They looked like military uniforms from the movies. "Where are we?" I asked terrified. The men didn't respond and just left the room. The door was locked behind them.

I turned back around to see everyone holding one another. They were all scared too. What would happen to us here? I looked to Darien, as did everyone else. He seemed lost in a daze then walked to a table and sat down at a chair. He put his elbows down and put his head in his hands. Everyone was silent. Until Malachite stood.

"Well? What now? What do we do?" He was hatefully spiting at Darien. As if he blamed him for it. "You knew this would happen didn't you? You gathered us together, you somehow turned us over to these people. Well? What is it?"

"I have no idea." Darien lifted his head. "I don't know anything."

"You're a fucking liar! I knew there was something off about you. From the beginning, you were too civilized, too moral! You're one of these people! They move like you move, they talk like you talk! Who the fuck are you? Who are they?" Malachite shouted.

"We are the guards." A voice came over a speaker. "You have all successfully completed the program. You will be re-acclimated." The voice was emotionless.

"What?" Malachite asked and glared at the speaker. "What is this?"

"This is the holding facility. Here you will be examined. If you pass examinations you will be released. Free to go." We all looked at one another.

I shook a bit. "And if we fail examinations?" I asked timidly. Darien looked at me with worry.

"If you fail examinations, you will be returned to the white sky." The voice was chilling. Oh God! What did that mean? I looked around the room and saw Andrew looking at me. They had nabbed Andrew as well. Who were these people? What did they want? What sort of examinations were they going to do to us? "Serena Tsukino, please prepare for examination." The woman's voice commanded. Darien and Andrew stood, ready to defend me.

The door opened and two men in uniform came into the room followed by a woman in a white coat. "Serena Tsukino." She looked at me. "This way please." I looked back at Darien, he was clenching his fists and glaring at the woman. "She will be fine Mr. Shields. No worries." She smiled and looked at me. "Follow please." She then turned around. I followed her down the corridor and into another room. She looked me over with all sorts of gadgets, after each gadget she would scribble on a pad of paper. "Do you know how far along you are Serena?" She asked with interest.

"I'm um, I'm, three months." I answered shakily. She nodded then looked at me.

"Okay, you've passed your exams. Now, I am sorry, so sorry, but this is the hard part of my job. I'm going to place a helmet on your head. You're going to feel uncomfortable, you may lose consciousness. I really do apologize for what happens after that." She added and stepped towards me. I was frozen in fear. I didn't know why she was so regretful, I didn't know then, but I know now. I know the true horror of it all now.

She placed this helmet on me and in a few moments I was screaming in terror. It was like a nightmare machine. I had whirls of visions, images and feelings flooding my head. I saw my father, only he wasn't how I remembered him. My father was my world, but this machine made him into a monster. He beat me, I felt the pain, the anger, the sadness, then, then I felt numbness. I saw my mother crying, beaten bloody, my brother, oh God! I had a brother! He was the same, and my father standing over all of us. I had evil in me, a terribly evil plan. When he was sleeping, I went at him with a meat cleaver. I killed him, in his sleep. My mother was terrified.

I was terrified. Then suddenly, I was filled with the contents of my nightmares. I turned him into the compost, in the garage. I had not been born into the world I had known. I was born in 1993 to Ken and Irene Tsukino. My brother was born in 1997. In 2013, I murdered my father because he was beating my family. I had had enough, I murdered him in cold blood and disposed of his body. When the nightmares became too much I turned myself in. I faced trial and was sentenced to seven months under the white sky. The white sky was not a future world, it was not a land destroyed by nuclear bombs. It was a prison. A prison where they put people to fend for themselves, where people either survived or didn't. The worst part was that it was televised. Everything under the white sky, the great domes in barren lands across the world, was televised. The woman removed the helmet, and I felt the full weight of everything hit me. I was sent to prison, everything I had believed, this whole journal, was written as part of a fabrication.

When you were sent to the white sky, you were detained and your memories blocked. They put new ones in your head, ones that made sense in the fabric of the fake world. I covered my mouth and looked at the woman in front of me. Oh God! I was a monster! More importantly, I didn't know anything about Darien! The father of my child had been sent to prison too. With his skills, his power, his strength, what if he was someone overly dangerous? What would he be like when I saw him next?

She seemed to understand the fear in my eyes and bowed her head a little bit. "Serena, I know this is difficult for you. Know this though, the only people who come out of there are decent deep down. Those who had good reason to do whatever they did. The White Sky program was designed as a rehab. It is the ultimate program for determining good people from dangerous people. Those who are fundamentally wild and hostile don't come out." The woman sighed then removed the helmet from me.

I was in shock, physically, mentally, emotionally. I began to cry and I was escorted to another room where I sat on a couch and just marinated. My mother was alive, that was wonderful news! On the other hand, I had taken my father's life in a cold hearted way. It was terrible.

I hugged my knees to me and wondered who would be next. Who would I be facing next? There would be suspicion, no matter who it was. I waited, wondering, and then the door opened and Darien stepped through the door. I looked up at him, remaining huddled in my position. I wasn't sure if I should speak or let him begin first.

"What did you do?" He asked me in a cold manner. I felt myself shudder then locked eyes with him. "I need to know." He added.

"I murdered my father then put the evidence in the garden. Sort of like what we did in the shelter." I spoke shakily. "He was abusive to me and my family. I just, snapped. I had learned about the compost technique from watching someone else do it." I added to hopefully reassure him. He nodded then sighed.

"I was a special forces operative. Also a medic. Ironic, I was trained to kill and save lives." He chuckled and shook his head. "Raye was raped, and I set out to make him pay. She and Jed helped me track him down. I killed him in the worst way I could think of. I tortured him, then we buried him alive. He suffocated to death. We were found out and sentenced. God, I can't believe it wasn't real." He shook his head. "We were real, right?" He looked at me hopefully and I nodded. Of course we were real. "Then, we still have a chance?" He asked hesitantly.

"I'm worse than you are, so, if you can live with what I've done then we can be happy." I stated easily. He smiled and walked to me. He took me into his arms as he sat. We were together, that was what mattered. "Where are you from?" I sniffled.

"Seattle. You?" He returned the question.

"Mountlake Terrace, just north of you." I smiled. We had grown up so close to one another. As we sat there a thought occurred to me. A thought that embarrassed and disgusted me. "Umm, Darien… did you ever, watch the White Sky?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded then tensed just as I had.

The White Sky program was not just a prison but it was also televised. It was meant as a warning to others, to show where you went when you broke the law. In addition, the program was financially self-sustaining, no taxpayer monies were used to run the program. Therefore, it was the ultimate solution to a world of over-crowded prisons. It slicked the thirst people had for reality TV. Subsequently, each person in the program was followed by a camera. They were almost microscopic so the people within the world could not see them. Unfortunately, you didn't have rights in prison, therefore, there were no privacy laws for what could be broadcasted. Nothing was left unseen to those cameras.

Everything I had done under the White Sky had been televised, that included Darien. Oh God! Had my mother seen that? Who else had? I paled and clutched at Darien. Some people who came out of the program wound up famous. Would I be one of those people? No, too many individuals watched the brothel stations, not my life, who would really fixate on my life?

My life, hah! That wasn't a life, it was an act! I then perked up. Where was Luna? Where was my pet? I had had Luna since I was seventeen. She went with me in there. They had programed Luna as well, programmed her to be my guardian. They wanted me alive, wanted me to survive.

Andrew was next, he walked into the room casually then noticed us and stopped. "Heya guys!" He sat at the table in the room and sighed. "Wow, that sucks! At least we're out of that place." He seemed to be completely unfazed by the process of regaining his memories. My eyes widened a bit. What type of person remembers a crime they committed and doesn't care? He went to prison! He should be shaken just as Darien and I were. "So, you two going to try and stay together?" He asked us simply.

"What did you do Andrew?" Darien held me protectively. Andrew blinked then looked at Darien with confusion. A realization seemed to come over him and he waved his hand nonchalantly at us.

"Oh, I own an arcade and malt shop sort of thing. I went to prison because some people died after eating the food I served. I was convicted of negligence. Not really a fair sentence considering it was Lita who poisoned the people. Last time I hire her to work for me." He shrugged. "Over now, I get to go back to my old life now."

"Lita poisoned someone?" I asked with a bit of surprise. Lita was so nice!

"Yeah, she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her so she poisoned both of them. Too bad she did it in my place." He sighed and shook his head. "Bet she won't do that again." Andrew seemed to think for a moment then looked at Darien. "Hey, you used to come into my place… with your… girlfriend." His words dropped off and I could feel Darien tense at the mention of a girlfriend. Darien had a girlfriend? Of course he would, he's too amazing not to have one.

"Wait, so… where does that leave us?" I asked him with renewed interest. He signed and shook his head dejectedly. I was waiting for my answer. Would he stay with her? What would happen with the baby?

"Serena, I'm going to assume she wants nothing to do with me at this point. I murdered someone, went to prison, then hooked up with an amazing woman and impregnated her. I imagine Ann is going to part ways with me before I have the chance to tell her we're over." He paused in thought then frowned. "What about you? Do you have a boyfriend or anything I need to know about?"

I thought about it and a face flashed in my mind. I did have a boyfriend. Diamond, boy, I thought the name was weird when I first met him but remembering it once again reaffirmed my initial instinct. "Yeah, I have a boyfriend." I mumbled blankly. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Diamond. I couldn't remember much about him to be honest. Strange, I had supposedly regained my memories and yet he seemed to be a blank in my otherwise vivid life.

"What's wrong?" Darien asked and knit his brow.

"I can't really remember my boyfriend. I don't even remember if I love him or not." I stared at the floor feeling a little guilty. That must be the price of having your head messed with by the government. I'd lost a piece of myself. Hell, maybe even more than one piece.

As I sat thinking about my life I wondered how many other things I have forgotten. How many things Darien and the others would forget. Soon, everyone else began to filter into the room. Each one looking just as shocked and dejected as I had been. We were a room full of scared individuals and it showed. The most striking image was of Malachite sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the wall while cradling his head in his hands. Mina sat in the corner hugging her knees and softly sobbing.

When we were all together, the doctor entered the room with a clipboard in hand. "Okay everyone. You are free to go home. Your next of kin have been called to come and collect you. Please wait in this room until we call you out.

I felt my palms grow sweaty as I waited for my mother to come. How could I face her after killing her husband and my father? I could remember her face when I told her what I had done. I begged her to help me but she wouldn't. She didn't give me up though, she went through the motions of putting out a missing persons report for my father. She didn't help me, but she didn't turn me in. I did it in the end. I turned myself in.

One by one people began to leave until the doctor entered and called my name. She then called for Raye, Darien, and Jed. We all exited, and as I walked down the hallway towards my mother I held Darien's hand. When we emerged into the waiting room my mother stood, grasping her hands over her bosom with tears in her eyes. My brother stood beside her, a smile on his face. Seeing their happiness I released Darien's hand and rushed to them for a large group hug.

The warmth of my family's arms comforted me greatly. I let tears flow from my eyes then sobered as I hear a shrill voice cut through the air. "So! You get all high and mighty, get yourself thrown in prison then knock up some psychopathic bitch?"

I glanced towards Darien only to see a brunette woman jabbing her finger towards me in outrage. She was facing him, screaming as loud as she could muster. I felt my mother squeeze me a little.

"Ann, not here." Darien warned calmly and glanced at me. Our eyes locked and he looked far more regretful than he had in the holding room.

"I'll do this wherever I want! I have the right Darien!" She then pivoted towards me with anger in her brown eyes. "As for you! Stay away from my husband. I don't care who you think you are, or what claim you think you have to him. He's taken!"

"Ann! Don't talk to her like that. You can't understand what the program is like." Darien sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, I understand just fine. You go in there and forget all about me and the vows you took. You just wanted someone new to sink yourself into. Yeah well, I don't give up so easily!" Ann cried loudly and I immediately felt guilty. She loved him. I could see it in the way she looked at him. She loved him very deeply. I likely broke her heart to watch us together on TV. Broke her heart even more to see the emptiness in his eyes when he looked at her. Hell, that emptiness even broke my heart.

"Ann, I didn't forget you. They erased you from my mind! They erase memories, change who you think you are. You can't understand. I'm sorry, but I don't love you. Not anymore at least." He admitted and she took a step back. Tears flowed from her eyes and she glared at me furiously. Her eyes dropped to my slightly swollen belly and she growled.

"Dude, did they really erase your memories?" My brother asked me with disbelief. I simply nodded. "Wow, so, you didn't miss us?"

"In there, I never even knew you existed Sammy." I whispered sadly.


	15. Entry 14- February 23, 2013

You didn't think I would stop there did you? Honestly, you all act like you've never read one of my fics. ;) Nonetheless, I'm hoping you like this one as well. Let me know with a **REVIEW!**

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Entry 14- February 23, 2013

As I write this entry I cannot believe my stupidity. Looking at the dates in this diary I slap myself for being so stupid. My entries began in August of 2111 and my last entry was February 2111. I should have noticed that. How could they have programmed me to think that the year never progresses? Then again, I wonder a lot about how they programmed me. Even now as I'm sitting in my room with Luna I worry about intruders. I worry about being attacked. I worry about running out of power.

What a burden that program has placed on me. I can never feel right, not now. I understand how those people felt now, the people who came out of the program who became famous for one reason or another. Unfortunately, I will become one of them. The news is talking about myself and Darien. Talking about our romance. It's only been a day now and there have been people knocking at our door asking to meet me. I only fear what will happen when I see Diamond.

I've gone through my photo albums, I have so many photos of us together. Vacations, dates, dances. So many memories that I just cannot place, I feel like I'm watching a movie except I'm a main character. I can see us together, but when I try and unearth the feelings with those images I'm reminded of Darien.

To be honest, I have been hiding in my room all day. It's strange, I know I didn't grow up under the White Sky but I still have those memories. It's like I have two people inside of me, the skeptical, cautious, dangerous woman who grew up in a barren wasteland, and the innocent young woman wronged by her father. I'm at war with myself and it's driving me mad!

The sad part is, the side that is winning is the one I'm not sure should win. I have only been in this world for a day and already I'm overwhelmed. I know I lived this way before but I don't want to now. There is so much noise in this world, not just sound but just… noise in general. There is a ringing in my ears, constant visual bombardment, and of course the sound. Nothing is silent, not like I'm used to. There's always some noise and no one seems to hear the insanity of it all! Phones ringing, television blaring, radios on, the hum of electricity as it illuminates light bulbs, people moving around me in the house, my head hurts from it all!

I smirked. I had always wondered what happened to people after they come out of the White Sky. People seemed so different on the TV from what they were outside of it. Every single person who came out ran away. Even the famous ones would run. They seemed to drop off of the face of the earth, choosing remote locations to settle. I now understood why. When you are born into this world you get used to the noise, the constant drone of humanity. You don't notice anymore. If you're taken away from it and made to believe you've never known all of that, when you come back you simply can't handle it.

Moreover, I was worried about the life inside of me. How could I bring a child into this word? This terrible world? I needed to escape my thoughts, that was for sure. I absently rubbed Luna's ears then a thought hit me. I needed to meet with Darien. He'd managed to slip me his address before I left the medical facility yesterday. I had to see him, he could help me switch focus. I just knew he could.

I carefully moved Luna off of me only to have her wake and look at me expectantly. Seemed Luna had the same problem as I. A war of two worlds so to speak.

I stood and allowed her to jump onto my shoulder. I was used to her being there, it just felt right. With her on my shoulder I exited my room and walked down the stairs only to hear my mother's startled voice.

"Serena! I thought you were resting. How fortunate! She's awake, come in, please." She spoke to someone at the door and stepped aside allowing Diamond to step into the house. I froze and Luna curled her tail around my shoulder.

The way his lavender eyes fixed on me told me everything I needed to know about this man. He looked at me with ownership behind his eyes. Lusty ownership. I stood firm though, I would not allow him to dominate me.

He smiled, his face defying his eyes. "Serena. Can we talk?" He asked as my mother retreated further into the house. I felt Luna's tail rattle against my throat, a warning of extreme danger. I didn't need her to tell me how furious he was. How dangerous he was. I was well aware without her warnings. I rubbed her ear, a signal between us that I understood.

I nodded but didn't move. He seemed to be waiting for something. "Speak." I commanded and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I was hoping we could speak privately. I suspect this will be a difficult conversation for both of us." He clarified and stepped closer to me. His proximity drew a warning growl from Luna. Surprisingly he retreated a little. "Calm her and lets go up to your room to talk. Please." Diamond insisted and I sighed. This was unavoidable I suppose.

I turned and walked up the stairs, Luna kept her eyes on him as we ascended. Each step reminded me of one fighting technique Darien had taught me. As I reached the top of the stairs I had a plan ready in case of a physical confrontation. With that solidified in my mind I plucked Luna from my shoulder and placed her on the ground. She seemed to resent the gesture but trotted ahead anyway.

Once inside my room the door was closed and Diamond began to pace. He was thinking of the best words but I knew the words he sought didn't exist. "Just spit it out." I sighed and crossed my arms.

"Well, aren't you a peach?" He stopped mid-step. "You just take the cake! It's like you're a completely different person! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You wouldn't understand it if I even tried to tell you." I shook my head. It was true. How could I explain to him what I was feeling? Short of giving him this book I couldn't.

"You're right. I wouldn't." He hissed and balled his fists. "Then there's him." He shot. There it was, the reason for Diamond's discontent. I figured he'd dance around it for a while but he simply came out and said it. I didn't respond which infuriated him further. "Good God! You don't even care that you betrayed me do you?"

"I didn't. Not really." I stated coldly. Too coldly in my opinion. I cared about people and feelings. Why was I being so cold? So like… my father. I paled at the realization.

"How do you figure! You tore my world apart Serena! Do you know what I went through when you were convicted? I understand why you did it but there were other ways. You didn't have to do what you did. You did it because you're selfish! You killed him and left me alone! I resolved to wait for you. Then one day I discovered your channel and I began to watch. I watched everything. What everyone else is calling romantic, I find it disgusting! He is a killer Serena, not like you. He kills people for money Serena. You know that and you still fucked the shit out of him!" Diamond was screaming at me now, his frame puffing as if to make himself threatening. I wasn't threatened. "You don't care though. I can tell." He growled.

"Diamond, anything we had is gone. I didn't choose it. I can't explain what was done to me but know that I am not the same person I was when I went in. I won't make you happy." I stated simply. "Walk away."

"Right, because that's so simple for you! Just walk away, if it's broke just throw it out!" He growled again. "You have no idea how this makes me feel. I don't want to lose you. I just don't. It's sick, I know, I'm so angry with you but, I just, can't give up."

"There's nothing to give up Diamond. I don't love you." I admitted and saw his body fill with grief. He seemed shocked. "Diamond. I'm sorry, but I don't feel anything towards you. You're a stranger in front of me."

"Really? A stranger?" His eyes darkened and I remembered a bit about Diamond. He was a vengeful person with a significant amount of resources. "Tell me, what did they do to you in that place?" He spoke darkly as well.

"They erased my life and inserted another. Different memories, those memories make me different. In the process or returning my memories some were lost and all of the fake ones remain." I explained as clearly as I could.

"I see. Then I suppose I need to understand it for myself." He stepped closer to me and this time I felt threatened.

"It's time for you to leave." I demanded and opened my bedroom door. "Stay away from me." I added as he began to walk out.

"I can't promise that. You're likely to get in my way dearest." He chucked my chin and walked out of the house. I knew it wasn't the last I would see of him. For now I needed to see Darien. I had an idea of where he would be. He wouldn't be at home because of Ann.

I arrived at my destination and stepped up to the closed glass doors. There were people inside but the doors were locked. I simply waited and soon the doors were unlocked and opened by a familiar face.

"You look like hell girl." Andrew smiled and placed an arm around me. He walked me towards the group assembled in the diner and I felt at home. As I suspected we were all together. Darien stood and motioned to a chair next to him.

"You're just in time. We are about to talk about what we did." He recited and looked pointed at everyone. "I think we are all having adjustment issues. The only way to overcome this is to stick together. To do that we need to talk about our crimes." Darien added as I took my seat next to him. Once I did the stories began.

My God. I could never have imagined what I learned about these people.

Raye, Darien, and Jed- Raye was raped and became pregnant with a child. Grief stricken she loathed the very thing inside her. Jed and Darien supported her, each harboring their rage. She knew her attacker and the plan was hatched. Darien and Jed did the dirty work of killing the man but she was the one to kill the life inside of her. They were all sentenced for the murder of the man.

Lita and Andrew- Lita had learned of her boyfriend's infidelity and poisoned both him and his new girlfriend. She'd chosen the type of poison that takes some time. It kills people slowly and painfully. She not only poisoned them, but imprisoned them together to force them to watch one another die in agony. Andrew was charged for negligence because he should have been aware of what Lita had done in his kitchen.

Mina- Mina's story was heart-wrenching for me. One of her friends had a baby. Mina was sterile and couldn't have children but loved them greatly. When she went to see the child for the first time she was overcome with excitement and crushed the child's ribs. She'd essentially suffocated her friend's child. When she realized what had happened she fled with the infant's body before her friend knew what happened. She hid the body. It wasn't until she was arrested that she told the police where the child was. Upon learning that her child was dead, the friend took her own life and Mina was left with the consequences.

Amy- Amy was brilliant. Accomplished. She was so smart that she had graduated well before her time and had been hired on at a pharmaceutical company. She'd discovered a new drug that showed promise for curing cancer. The FDA had reviewed the formulas and deemed it dangerous but she was convinced the drug was being stifled for political reasons. She was wrong. Amy went against government and company regulation and conducted human trials. Twelve people died of blood poisoning because of her pride.

Amara and Michelle- Amara was a racing legend and Michelle a musical prodigy. They fell in love at an early age and were tormented for that love. One night they had gone out dancing together. It was a date night and just like any other night until a group of people began to harass them. They were beaten within an inch of their lives. They both managed to make it to Amara's car and together, they made the decision to run those people over. They were each charged with vehicular assault and because the car Amara drove was modified and she had punched the accelerator, it was deemed that they had used unreasonable force to commit the crime.

Trista- Trista was a business woman. A business woman who embezzled millions. Enough to get her thrown in prison.

Hotaru- Hotaru was the youngest of the group. Age of course didn't matter when she took the liberty upon herself to castrate several classmates after learning that they had sexually harassed her friends. It was an extreme measure taken on a few boys who were making poor choices.

Nephrite- Nephrite was a professional fighter and accidentally punched someone a little too hard. The man died of internal bleeding.

Zoicite- Zoicite unleashed a computer virus that crippled the traffic system in a small town. Several people died due to the outage.

Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten- Were pop stars who got too carried away at a party one night. Several women will forever remember how the three forced themselves on those women.

Malachite- Malachite was the member of the group that I most wanted to understand. He remained eerily silent as everyone told their stories. When it came to his turn he simply sneered and stood. Apparently, he was part of a mercenary group. Men who took contracts to do whatever would pay good money. He committed all sorts of crimes. He was caught because he tortured a high-ranking political figure. The man survived but barely.

With all of our crimes stated, all of our sins exposed so to say, we sat in silence. We were certainly a mixed group. That was certain. "So, what now?" I asked everyone.

"We stick together." Darien affirmed. "We need to. We've shared the same experience. We have to keep each other in check."

Malachite huffed and looked at Darien with defiance in his eyes. "Darien. We're all paired into couples. We're going to keep each other in check." He smarted off.

"You may be paired but that is the problem. Couples tend to think alike. We can't have that. Checks and balances are meant to do just that. Balance! We need to stick together." Darien insisted and scanned the group for agreement.

"We're not under the White Sky Darien. Out here I don't have to listen to you. I have my own priorities. My own objectives." He crossed his arms then glared at me. "I knew I didn't like you for a reason." He took a step towards me. "Makes so much sense now. Doesn't my face spark any recognition?" He added. I studied him and realized who I was looking at. Malachite was Diamond's older brother.

"Leave her alone." Darien demanded protectively. "Threaten her and you're threatening me." Darien added and stood in front of me. "Back off."

"Oh, look at you being a hero. You're no hero Darien. You are the other man though. She is my little brother's girlfriend. I never liked you from the beginning. He was so obsessed with you though. You should have died so he would be spared the pain you've caused him." Malachite boomed. Mina stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Watch your back Darien. Seriously." Malachite added and stormed towards the doors of the diner. He flipped the lock and flew out the doors with Mina close in tow.


	16. Entry 15- February 24, 2013

I do believe this is the shortest chapter I've every published but that's okay. Serena can only think so much at once.

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Entry 15- February 24, 2013

The group decided to stay together. Well, everyone but Malachite and Mina. I felt guilty about that. It was clear that I was the reason for the pair leaving. Then again, Malachite set his own agenda. He really had no business with me.

Darien seemed indifferent to Malachite's desertion. No one else really seemed to mind either. Perhaps Malachite was not very popular with the group. I sat in the booth at the diner and sighed. "So, fraternizing Malachite's brother huh?" Darien commented as he sat next to me.

"Maybe I was at one time, but not anymore." I mumbled absently. I didn't want to make a big deal out of that part of my past.

"I can imagine what he's like." Darien smiled and stretched a bit. "So, you've given up on him? I've filed my divorce papers." There was no remorse in his voice, none at all. Something about that chilled me to the bone. He once loved Ann. I mean. He had to in order to marry her right? Now, now he didn't care about her at all. Could that happen to me one day? Could he turn on me and simply walk away?

"Aren't you a little sad about divorcing her?" I asked cautiously and hoped that he wouldn't understand why I was asking. It wasn't my business per se but I did want to know.

"No. We were never truly a couple. I married her so she could benefit from my government benefits. She went to school for free, lived at my place for free, and I supported her. That was it. It was a business deal. Sure, we tried a relationship but I was never really in love with her. She occupied my time while I was around. That was the extent of it. Frankly, she drives me insane. She never shuts up and everything she talks about is so trivial." Darien simply stated all of this as if he was writing a report. It was devoid of feeling and I could understand why.

I simply nodded to acknowledge that I heard what he had said. What else could I do really? I loved this man and he seemed to love me. I would stand by him until the end of time if he'd allow me to. I wanted to settle down with him and live my life peacefully, hopefully we could do that.

As I thought about our lives together I felt a wave of exhaustion hit me and braced myself against the wall for balance. Darien grabbed hold of me and sat me in a booth. "Serena? You okay? Feeling dizzy?"

"I'm just so tired all of a sudden. Take me home so I can rest. That's all I need. I'm sure it's this parasite inside of me." I smiled at him ironically. He smiled as well then nodded.

Now that I'm home I'm feeling even more exhausted. I'm writing this diary and my handwriting is getting messy. I can't explain how tired I am. I hope nothing's wrong… I'll go to the doctors tomorrow and see. The last thing I want is for something to be wrong with the baby. I'll write an entry as soon as I get home from the doctors.


	17. Entry 16- May 3, 2013

Look at that! I'm giving you a short second update. Just you wait until you read this. I'm hoping to keep writing so updates will be faster.

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Entry 16- May 3, 2013

Today was such a great day! The group of us went to the beach. It was so beautiful! All that time I was Under the White Sky I had dreamed about the beach. The blue skies, the blue waters for as far as you could see. The sand between my toes. Oh, how wonderful it was! We frolicked and played and just had a fun time.

It was nice to get out of the house. I'm not sure why but I spent the last week at home. I didn't talk to anyone or do anything really, just slept and ate. Ironically I weighed myself and am the same weight I have always been. Even after being a bump on a log I didn't gain any weight. When I told Darien, he seemed to get lost in his thoughts. As if something was missing in what I had said. It was strange really.

Then again, I felt strange. Like I said before, ever since we were released from the White Sky I've felt strange. As if I had two lives inside of me. I felt fuzzy all the time, sometimes I was my old self and sometimes I was more the survival self. At the beach today I felt more like my old self. Carefree and happy. Tonight as I write this I feel like my survival self. I feel self-conscious, cautious, and suspicious. I keep feeling like there's something bothering me. There's sadness within me that I can't explain. Maybe it was my fake memories of my father dying, or the real guilt of killing him that was nagging me. Maybe that was it. Then again, I'm not sure what the truth of it is.

I did feel guilty about Malachite and Mina. They seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth. Neither could be found and when I had asked Diamond he'd simply told me that Malachite went "off the grid" whatever that meant. Off the grid to me meant that they were hiding. Why would Malachite and Mina go into hiding? Then it occurred to me that perhaps, we should all be hiding. I had been successfully brainwashed by the government once. They had the power to do things like that and no one would know! Could that be it?

As I write this I wonder about the technology that allowed the White Sky to form. Without the mind control technology they would have never been able to execute the program. With technology so powerful, what else could they do? A cold sense of dread began to envelope me. I had learned so much under the White Sky. So many dangerous things. They could use the mind control on me and make me do anything they wanted. Perhaps, more importantly, they could use dangerous people like Darien to do anything they want. They could turn him into a real weapon. Hell, they already had turned him into a weapon, all they needed to do was to brain wash him and he would be unstoppable. Imagine, a lethal man such as Darien, completely stripped of his moral compass, completely oblivious to any harm he was doing. A terrible fate would meet any who stood in his way. It was horrible to think any such thing would be could happen.

I had to tell Darien about this, he had to know that such a thing was possible. He had to be alert. Then again, I'm not sure being alert would help if one was being brain washed. Here one moment gone the next is more the feeling of it I imagine. Not that you would feel anything anyway. Feelings are things that must be remembered to be appreciated. No one remembers being brainwashed unless the brainwasher wants the victim to remember.

Considering I have two sets of memories and feelings I think it's completely ridiculous that the government chose to mess with my head like that. Obviously these memories are some sort of punishment for what I did to my father. Or, perhaps it was a justice to me. After all, I had a terrible childhood in my real life. In my fake life I had a kind and loving father.

My duality made me wonder what sort of life Darien had in this world. Did he have a better life here or there? Here most likely. What sort of life could a boy have in a world where everyone was supposed to be violent and angry? I simply cannot imagine.

Maybe Darien was the sort of person meant to go "off the grid." He is truly dangerous. I wonder if he would be interested in moving away from everything. We could get along well somewhere secluded. I know we could.

First things first though. I had to call Darien. With a slightly shaky hand I picked up the phone and I dialed Darien's number. It rang a few times, the digital screaming still hurt my ears. I was relieved when Darien answered the phone. "I'm not sure why, but I feel like you have bad news for me." He dove straight into the conversation. He was right, of course.

I took a deep sigh before I began to speak. "I think we may be in trouble." My tone was very depressing I'm sure. "Darien I'm just worried about what they can do."

"I've been thinking about the same thing ironically." Darien admitted and I felt relieved. "Look, Malachite is a very smart man, paranoid, but smart. Additionally, he took Mina with him. That means he has some serious concerns about society now. Perhaps he's worried about relapsing. I'm not sure what he thinks but it sure isn't a good thing."

"Look, they erased our memories, then implanted new lives. What if they could do anything? They retrained my cat, they could retrain anyone to do anything. Hell, they could even be using us like roman horses. Dormant until they need us." I was shaking as I said the words. Vocalizing them made them far more real than the monologue in my head. It was even more powerful than the words in this diary. I could be a killing machine. Everyone I knew could be!


End file.
